Bruh. This is a word that younger generations use all the time an older generations seem to hate.

I actually love the word.

I feel like I live by this word.

Every day of my life, I have at least a dozen reasons to say Bruh to my kids. I have two GenZ children, one of whom treats her phone as if it was another appendage. The other one is as forgetful with her phone as I am when I try to remember why I walk into a room. Anyone who knows me, knows I am late pretty much all the time. I would say that 97% of that is because of my kids. Starting from the earliest of ages, those kids have forgotten everything. But only when it comes to me. They don’t forget things they brought to school (except homework), so I never had to deal with the lost and found (thank God!) Every once in a while, they will leave something at another person's house like a bag or a camera or a sock. But never somewhere where they can’t ever get it back. 

But for some reason when they’re around me, the part of their brain that remembers things, just shuts off. My oldest daughter, for example, gets in the car every day having forgotten something in the house. Keys, phone, lip balm, shoes. Yes, I said shoes. That girl expects that there will be shoes and socks waiting for her in the car because she leaves them there the night before for that specific purpose. She refuses to carry a purse so if she forgets to put her lip balm in her pocket, she will have a horrible day of dry lips. 

I feel like we can blame our kids for our lateness all the time. I feel like when you’re around other parents, you don’t even need to explain why you’re late because they get it. They get that the Christmas leggings that the kid begged to wear in July are now too hot and we need to change into the purple bathing suit that hasn’t fit since they were six months old. They get that two of the same shoes never seem to be able to be found when it’s time to walk out the door. They got that you needed to stop for gas because you were so stressed out the night before and just wanted to get home and cook dinner that you’ve got there on fumes in your tank.

I know I’m not the only parent who has driven two hours to a tournament only to find out that a key piece of equipment - cleats, shin guards, socks, whatever -was not on the child’s person even though you reminded said child repeatedly over and over 27 times to put it in their bag and confirmed with them before they left the house if they had everything they needed.

And I know I’m definitely not the only parent whose kid reminds them at 9pm the night before an assignment (requiring a tri-fold or shoebox and some other random materials) is due or that they have to bring homemade cake pops for the big sale or that they were supposed to sell all their raffle tickets before practice tomorrow or that they offered to host Friendsgiving and that they need to cook something for it but still don’t know how to use the oven. 

I know it’s not just me and yes, I know that there are people who deal with all of those kind of things and are still able to be on time. God bless those people. They definitely deserve an award because I know it is not me. I also know if you were one of those people, you will tell me to give myself an extra hour to be ready so I won’t be late. Yes, I’ve tried that too. Just yesterday I told my children we were leaving the house at 9:30 because I wanted to leave at 10. By 10:30, they still were not prepared to walk out the door. It was a win because we made it out before 11 and I had a full tank of gas so it was like a Christmas miracle. One of them did forget her coat. 

In my job (outside of motherhood) one of the things I hate the most is having to chase people down or follow up with them and make sure that they do their part of a project that I am involved in. I mean, I feel like I can’t even keep my own crap straight so I don’t want the responsibility of keeping other people's crap straight. And I realize that people will let you straighten their crap until you stop doing it. So my kids will forever be forgetful, I think. 

As I just drove away from the house to pick up, one child, the other child called me and asked if I could come back because she left her earrings in the car . Why, pray tell, are your earrings in the car? Why do I even have to ask that question? Did you mistakenly think that the dashboard of the car was your makeup table and you begin to de-accessorize as you were sitting in the passenger seat? 

The unanswered questions of life. The reasons of being late. So many BRUH moments, it makes you understand why the word was invented.

Let them be little

My oldest daughter today reminded me that my youngest only has two more Halloweens as a teenager. Of course, it hit me hard and the constant reminder that my kids are no longer little always makes me sad. I wish we could have a double version of our kids - one that grows up and becomes a wonderful adult and then another one who never gets older than kindergarten age so we can continue to enjoy all of those wonderful times.

Her comment made me think of Halloween and that debate about whether or not teens should trick or treat. I never understood why people would even question that. When I was a teenager, Halloween involved eggs and shaving cream and very rarely had any candy. Looking back, I would not have minded a couple of Blow Pops and M&Ms. Mind you, I am from a time when some people did give out apples or a handful of candy corn or five pennies twisted up in saran wrap or (the worst thing ever) raisins! 

But why do we assume that once you hit a certain age, you don't want to dress up and walk around the neighborhood with your friends and get free candy? What is the age limit? Do you hit puberty and all of a sudden the only thing you can do on Halloween is watch scary movies, walk through a dark cemetery or TP someone's house?

I know we can't treat our kids like babies their whole lives, but can we let them act like kids a little longer? Is high school the age when our kids are supposed to "grow up"? It's not like they are learning how to be adults there. They don't learn basic skills like addressing an envelope or doing taxes. They don't learn how to write a resume or fill out a job application. They are basically expected to know how to do everything but get very little in the way of actual real world education. Seriously, ask your kid to make their own doctor appointment and they might pass out! 

Some families are very good at teaching their kids how to live life. Laundry, changing a tire, taking out trash, helping with groceries - all of these things we have to do as adults. Some families are pretty bad at it and have kids who grow up expecting someone else to do those things or think they somehow magically happen. I'm somewhere in the middle. I feel like I taught my kids enough to do it on their own, but they still have no problem letting me do things for them.

And yes, I still do have trick or treat bags for my kids. I will still help them make costumes if they want - especially since I'm not about the traditional female costumes (sexy nurse, sexy police officer, sexy black cat). And if a 16 year old comes to my door, you can be sure they are getting a handful of candy. Because, let's face it, if they are taking the time to go walk around with their friends and be silly and have fun and get free candy, that is the better option than what they could be doing.

So give them the candy and don't question it!💀

Conversations

Recently, I was waiting for my order in Five Guys when I hear a woman and her son talking behind me. The conversation was moving. It was moving because the son was moving and the woman (I'm guessing mom) was following him. He was a cute kid, no older than 5 or 6, and he seemed very interested in the drink machine and the person making a shake and putting a cherry on top of it and the huge bags of peanuts and the french-fry-making process and the counter filled with buns and lettuce and pickles. 

He wasn't obnoxious or intrusive in any way. He was just quiet and curious - as if all of this was new to him and he was calmly absorbing all of it. I felt that. I love watching the people at Five Guys do what they do, because there is so much happening and they take something that can be so chaotic and turn it into a chorus. All I wanted was my little burger, but instead all I could see was this little woman back and forth in front of me as the child moved away from her.

No part of that kid was at all interested in what his mom was saying. Normally, that would not surprise me because certain places can be interesting to kids - especially if there is a lot going on. It's not like they were sitting at a table with no other stimulation and she was trying to give him something to do to stave off boredom. She was actively pursuing this kid in an attempt to have a conversation. The problem, to me, was the conversation and I could see why ketchup and bacon and cheese was much more interesting to him.

"Did you know my Grandpa was in the war?" 

No response. 

"Do you know what war is?" 

Staring at the whipped cream being squirted on the shake. 

"War is when people fight against each other with guns and people die." 

WTF?

In my mind, I'm thinking if this chick will have this conversation with her kindergarten-age kid in public, what the heck is she talking to them about at home? 

There is currently a war raging in Gaza and I would never minimize the impact it has on families and nations and the world. I know people need to learn about the history of that conflict and understand there is much more to it than what we see on our regular news channels. But at that age? Am I wrong in thinking he's a bit too young to understand the ins and outs of terrorism? I know we live in a very different world than we did 60 years ago (I was trying to do the math and figure out what war her grandfather was in) but I still think that children can learn things in broad, generic ways rather than a how-to guide of semi-automatic weapons and tanks. I know that there are children in the world who have to deal with war and terrorism and violence and traumatic reality and I am sure their parents do not want to have to talk to them about the types of things they face on a daily basis. I also know that, as Americans, we should teach our children that they are fortunate and should pray for and love their peers all over the world who may not have the same luxuries and basic rights that we enjoy.

That kid was lucky that the only problem he had to face at that moment was if his mom would let him eat the extra fries in the bag on the way home.

She didn't stop talking and finally, they called my number and I got my bag. As I was walking out, I heard him ask for a strawberry shake. I didn't wait to hear her answer.