Words

What is it with kids? One minute they tell you they hate you. They wish they had a different mom. They want to go live with another family. They want you to die. Two minutes later, they love you more than anything in the world! To me, words are words. As a writer, if they're written on paper (or a keyboard) they have more of an impact. But when they're spoken, they can mean little. If you let them, the words can just fly away over your head and you'll forget them. Or, you can open your mind and heart and let them sink in and keep them. It's hard for me to just let some words go. It hurts when my daughter says awful things to me. But, she says them so often, that they've started to hurt less and less. Unfortunately, it's kind of the same with the nice words. When my kids say "I love you," it's almost like it's done just to fill up space. I know that's a horrible thing to think. I guess I've been molded by bad relationships where people say I love you as often as they say hello or goodbye (and with as much feeling). There's a book called the 5 Love Languages. It's a fantastic read, whether you're married, a parent, single, whatever. Using words is one of the languages. Some people just express themselves that way. Me? I'm a doer. I do things for people to show them how much I love them. In my family, we weren't huggy/kissy. We didn't (and still don't) show much through physical expression. We rarely say I love you. My dad started that when my parents got divorced. I do try to say it to my kids though - a lot. I feel it for a lot of people, but it just feels strange to say it sometimes. I don't know why. It's not a big deal. Maybe that should be something I work on in 2010 - expressing my feelings with words, giving more hugs and kisses. So, if you're reading this, I just want you to know - I love you!