Failing the test

I once read that God gives you patience by testing your patience. I am failing the test today, Lord and I need some help. My oldest daughter just told me I am cool. She and her friends say that cool means constipated over-rated out-of-style loser. She got a time-out. So, while she's in her room, she says "this isn't doing anything. This is just you trying to act tough." Please help me. It's hot and sticky. The kids are bored with everything I give them to do. The oldest thinks it's okay to entertain herself by hitting her little sister. I need a tutor if I am ever going to pass this test.