Couch Time

I don't often give advice in this blog - mainly because I'm in no position to tell others how to parent. But, I'm taking a parenting class at church and learned some valuable bits of information that I just have to share. Couch time is a concept I have heard before and, unfortunately, never actually used in my life. That changed yesterday. If you don't know anything about couch time, read on. If you've heard of it and dismissed the idea, read on. The course I'm taking is based on a series called On Becoming Childwise by Gary and Anne Marie Ezzo. Now, it was originally a Christ-centered course, but has been adapted for use in public schools. I strongly encourage parents to consider it. Anyway, the brief lesson is this - your children will feel more secure if they know that YOU are secure. The couch time idea is for couples, but can be adapted to the single parent. Every day (or when your schedule permits) when you come home from work, say hello to your child, but let them know that it is mommy and daddy time. Then, spend 10-15 minutes (or more) sitting together on the couch and talking. It doesn't matter what you talk about, but if your child comes over and demands your attention, simply tell them that they can go and read or play with toys but that this time is mommy and daddy time. Don't scoff at the idea. It won't kill you to try it! And I promise you, your life will change. It may not happen overnight, but it could. If your child has trouble sleeping - this could work wonders. Kids feel anxious and insecure. Letting them see that their parents are "okay" means the world. If you're a single parent, this could be your own time to pray, read the Bible or reflect. For me, my couch time is with my heavenly Father. When my girls see that I am okay and that I am secure in my relationship with God, they will be more secure in their relationship with Him and with me and with others. Oh, and it doesn't count if your kids aren't there to witness it. You can't do couch time while the kids are at school or down for a nap. You need to carve out that time. I promise, you will see a change. Just try it. If you aren't willing to put aside 10 minutes to see positive influences in your family, you need this more than ever. Good luck and God bless.