Not me

I always thought I had two children but apparently I'm wrong. I have this other being living in my home. His name is Not Me. I haven't seen him, but I know he exits. I know this because he is the one that does everything. He leaves the lights on. He leaves toothpaste in the sink. He leaves laundry on the floor. He leaves toys on the couch. He forgets to put the cap on the milk. It was his turn to feed the guinea pig and he didn't. Seriously, I don't know what is wrong with this kid. I guess he doesn't know what his jobs are around the house because I can never find him to tell him. I can't wait to get my hands on that kid!