I win

Lately, it seems everything is a competition with my kids. I know it's not just my kids - I've seen it with others too. I guess it happens more when there are siblings. "Why does she have more than me?" "Why does she get to go first?" "I'm prettier than you." "I have more than you!" I'm such a sucker for punishment that I'm the leader of my daughter's Brownie troop and I'm trying to teach the girls that it's important to work as a team. But, here comes my daughter pointing out the fact that she sold the most cookies and this girl sold the second most and Friend A sold more than Friend B and on and on. And, since my daughter is in her second year of Brownies and the other girls are in their first year, she has more patches than them - a fact that she needs to point out to me all the time. Really? Yes, I'm proud of you for your accomplishments, but they don't seem as great when you point them out all the time. Do I not praise them enough that they feel the need to read me their resume every day? I think I do. I also try to praise the act instead of the outcome so that they learn that hard work and effort are what is more important than the reward. Maybe it's good that my older daughter always wants to be first. Maybe it will help her in life later on. She'll be a leader and won't let people push her out of the way (like she pushes her little sister out of the way when they are racing). But I want to be sure my daughters are the kind of kids that don't make a big deal about who wins. I want them to be the kind of people who care more about having fun and doing a good job and working with the rest of the team toward a common goal. Even in trouble, my kids worry about what is "fair". If the older one gets a punishment, she is quick to be sure her sister gets the same treatment. I know an 8-year-old has no clue what is "fair." She's more concerned with what is equitable, but who am I to argue. I know where she's coming from. I'm a little sister, so I know how "unfair" life can be!