Doctor Doolittle

I am seriously done with animals. And I really mean it this time! There is nothing wrong with being an animal lover, but it gets to a point where you cross that line and become the crazy cat lady. I don't want to be the crazy cat lady. Someone needs to save me. This morning, I found one of the turtles floating face up in his tank. Immediately, the child said "When we get another one, can I...." Whoa, wait a minute! Who said anything about getting another one? Wrong number, sister, I'm sorry. The dead hermit crab last week got nothing but a trip to the garbage can. We're down to five of those and I'm fine with that number. There is one turtle left and that's fine with me too. The stupid crayfish that she got from her teacher in May is hanging on even though I keep insisting he wants to live in the wild. The fish are fine. One dies every few months and is treated to a lovely funeral flush. But, none of these animals are all that bad. I just have to remember to feed them and clean their tanks (which I hate!) But now the menagerie has grown even more. My sister got a dog - for the girls. Yeah, right sure. The girls don't walk him. They don't feed him or give him water. They rarely even play with him! The dog lives downstairs, which means the cat came to live up here. She doesn't bother with anyone really except when she bites your toes while you sleep. Other than that, she's fine. But, apparently, that wasn't enough. Because now we have two kittens. Adorable, yes. But what a pain in the butt! It's like having babies! They stay up all night. They want to be fed all the time. They have stinky little poop. Ugh. I guess, just like a baby, you forget about all of that when you snuggle with them or when you watch them sleep. Having all the pets really makes my kids happy so I'm dealing with it for now. I'm off to the store for some more kitty litter and Febreze!