Always prepared

"Mom, you need to make a mom bag for dad's car," said the oldest child. "He has nothing."
Pray, child, whatever do you mean? I have seen your father's car and know that cannot be true. He has empty water bottles and random pieces of clothing and golf balls. He has way more than nothing.
Apparently, he doesn't have chapstick or a brush or a lint roller or sunglasses or band-aids or tweezers or a pen and paper or hair ties or baby wipes - you know the things that most people have in their cars.
Now, I understand why most men have clean cars and women do not. I had the painful realization of this a few months ago when I borrowed my father's car while mine was in the shop. His car, although at least two years old, looked like it had never been driven. There was no dirt, no balled up tissues, no straw wrappers - nothing to suggest that people lived in that car. Oh wait, I said lived in when I should have said drive. He drives his car from Point A to Point B. He gets in, goes and gets out. He doesn't have to buoy his purse somewhere so that all the stuff doesn't fall out but he can still reach it when he needs a piece of gum. He doesn't have to carry four water bottles or lunches. He doesn't live in his car.
Moms like me have the kind of car where we could survive in it for a few days. We have extra clothes, blankets, first aid kits, bottles of water, snacks, activities. We can make it through at least a week stuck on the side of the road, I'm sure.
And maybe I don't need six blankets, 12 rain ponchos, 4 tubes of sunscreen, shin guards, a portable potty and 6 ice packs. But, guess what kids? Someone else has needed them because every one of those things in my trunk have gone to use.
I learned to stockpile my car because there always seems to be a need. And I always seemed to have the things in my car that other people needed but not the things I need or my kids need. And I also realize that the reason I need to be so prepared in my car and in my giant purse is because I don't prepare well enough at home.
Like, if maybe I put deodorant on in the house, I wouldn't need to carry it in my purse and put it on while waiting at a red light. Or if I remembered to put a water bottle in the kid's lunch, she wouldn't need to grab one out of the case in the back of the car.
I guess I am prepared for being unprepared. I know that I will forget so many things so I keep extras of those things in my car/second home. Now that that's said, I will go and get ready for work - and hopefully remember that deodorant.

That one friend

Every day, when I pray for my kids, I ask for a lot of things -  health, happiness, good choices, dedication, a good husband, hard work, pure thoughts. But, one of the most important things I pray for is that they are surrounded by wholesome people who enrich their lives. People that they can trust. People who will listen to them and have their backs and be honest and loyal. It's very hard to get that when you're a teenager. You may think you have it, but then you end up with that girl who drops you for every new boy that looks her way or talks about you behind your back. 

I realized that even more yesterday when I got an unexpected gift from a friend. Now, this lady is a true gem. She's one of those people who has a lot on her plate, but still manages to pile on more. She rarely says no and puts everyone before herself. She knows how to have a good time and takes care of herself, but when there is work to be done, she picks up a shovel and starts digging. Yesterday, she went out of her way to drop off Valentine's Day gifts to my family. Not something she grabbed at the drug store - a handmade card and a gift that took time to put together. And good chocolate - not some crappy stuff you get for $1.99 a bag. I may or may not know this because I may or may not have eaten a piece of Dove chocolate for breakfast.

We are blessed to have this woman and her family in our lives. Their Acts of Service (if you haven't read The Five Love Languages, do yourself a favor and read it!) show us their love and friendship. I would much rather have a friend who brings a ladder over to my house to rescue my cat from the roof (yes, she did that) than someone who says "love ya" in a text and can't even remember my kids' names. And I'm sure I don't tell her enough how much she means to me (since I'm an Acts of Service love language person myself) but know that I should because I want my kids to know that this is the kind of friend they want in their lives.

They want the kind of friend who tells them when they are doing something stupid rather than taking a video of that stupidity and posting it on social media. They want a friend who asks them if they want to study together rather than boasting about their 98 average in your hardest class. They want a friend who makes them laugh until their sides hurt rather than one who makes them cry until their heart hurts. They want a friend who will pick them up and never push them down.

So, that is my prayer for my kids and for yours. That they surround themselves with those good people every day of their lives. 

Get busy living

Yesterday, I read the obituary of a brilliant, well-regarded and much-loved local woman whose light on earth was snuffed out way too soon after a hard-fought battle with cancer. It was the most beautiful obituary I had ever read. It made me cry and smile at the same time because it showed the true spirit that she had and shared with the world.

Not one time did it say "she lived life to the fullest." That would have been too cliche. It was clear that she savored special moments and took pleasure in the little things. A lot of times, when people suffer a loss so devastating they begin thinking they should "live life to the fullest" or "live every day as if it's your last." But do we really do that? Do we live each day as if tomorrow will never come?

It's easy to say, but not so easy to do. I know that she lived that way before her diagnosis and didn't let that awful demon stop her from loving and sharing and shining. Everyone around her knew it. She accepted the fact that her days were fleeting, but instead of curling up on her couch and crying, she shared her journey with all of us in a raw and powerful way. It takes a remarkable kind of person to do that.

So, do we read the obituary and promise ourselves that we are going to really take life and ride it like a comet and then actually do that? Maybe. I wish I could say I would do that. My reality, like many of us, is that we celebrate the amazing woman she was and hope that we could be as inspiring as her and then fall back into the everyday routines of our lives. But that is where she was the most inspiring. It was the little things in life that she talked about being the most precious. Her memories of silly moments and funny faces - those are the things we can cherish. We don't necessarily need to run out and go skydiving or travel to Europe or ride a roller coaster. But, we should look at the things in our lives that we take for granted and focus on them.

Stop taking a picture of the sunset and just watch it melt into the horizon. Stop worrying if your kid should take another cello lesson and just smile at the squawking chords. Stop yelling at our kid to clean up their room and kick the clothes out of the way before you jump on their bed and watch them play a video game.

I think that is the message. This life is fleeting. It's like a nanosecond when you compare it to your everlasting life. So, let's just try to stop sweating the little things. Let's smile more. Be kinder to people. Let the person cutting you off in traffic just go ahead of you. Let your kid stay up a little later sometimes.

And do yourself a favor - if you haven't read Erica Chase-Salerno's blog posts, do it today. Also, please consider donating to her children's education fund and help them shine as bright as their mama did!
https://www.legacy.com/obituaries/dailyfreeman/obituary.aspx?n=erica-chase-salerno&pid=191491314