Sunday, February 19, 2012

On guard

I was watching a program recently where a woman said she would guard her daughter like a lion. I bet if you think about it as a mom, you're like that too. It made me think about how differently moms and dads guard their offspring. Probably like everything in nature, women are mostly in charge of the guarding. The males guard bigger things - they guard the cities and the villages and the families as a whole, but when it comes down to sitting on that next and making sure no one touches those eggs, it's the ladies who do that. The other night, I was at a father/daughter dance. I talked to a lot of the girls who were there. Now, I knew a lot of those girls but not necessarily the dads that were with them. None of the dads seemed too leery that a stranger was talking to their child. Maybe because I'm a woman. Maybe because it was apparent the child knew me. Maybe because I was in a position of authority. They kind of hung back and watched the scene. Now, a mom would handle that differently, I think. A mom would be over there in a heartbeat, defensive, wondering "who the heck is this chick talking to my daughter?" I know the dad would kill or be killed for his kid, but their mannerisms are different. Maybe we hover more, I don't know. I'm sure the shoe will be on the other food in 10 years when daddy/daughter dances are over and this time there is a boy at the door waiting to dance with their little girl!

Tuesday, February 14, 2012


It's kind of fitting that I was watching the first part of the Westminster Kennel Club show last night (oooh, it's on right now, gotta get the remote!) The other day, my youngest and I went into a store called Puppies & Kittens. Guess what they sell? We only go in to play with the animals. Under NO circumstances should you buy a dog or cat from a pet store. More often than not, they come from puppy mills and are poorly bred and riddled with problems. Adopt or buy from a reliable, reputable breeder. Okay, off the soapbox. I'm sitting in the store and looking at all the adorable puppies and realizing I don't know what they are. Listen, I worked for a vet for 10 years and am a huge fan of dog shows so I can pretty much spot a breed of dog when I see it. I started to hear Jerry Seinfeld's voice in my head saying "What's the deal with all these weird dog breeds?" Really, what is the deal? A morkie, a puggle, a golden doodle, a frengle, the list went on and on and on. When did this become cool? Now, 10 years ago, if you had a dog that was half golden retriever and half poodle, you had a mutt. A mixed breed. A cross. Now, it's in fashion. And not only in fashion, it's $1299. That's right, you don't even pay a grand for a pure bred dog. You pay a grand for a mutt. This is genius!!! Why didn't I think of this? So, all of those Shepherd mixes we took in were really Shepweillers. We had beagoodles and malt-tzus the whole time? I could have been a zillionaire by now? I shouldn't judge, but I just can't imagine having one of these dogs and telling someone the name of it when they asked "what kind of dog is that?" and seeing the puzzled look on their face when I said it's a Dal-pointer. I guess it's a losing battle - the bourgeois mixed dog breed is winning. My goodness, next it will be in fashion to carry your dog in a purse to the supermarket!!! Oh wait.....

Thursday, February 9, 2012

Boy Toys

Author's note: I can't believe it's been more than a month since I blogged last. My computer got the blue screen of death so I have resorted to stealing my daughter's netbook to get my computer fix! So, when I say boy toys, I'm not talking about a Madonna video (I'm dating myself, I know). I'm talking about actual toys and actual boys. Recently, I was watching my nephews play with a neighbor boy. They were playing bay blades (I'm sure I spelled it wrong) and were so excited about an arena and a battle. Turns out the arena is like a plastic bowl and the battle is a glorified version of spinning tops. I didn't get it. Similarly, I don't get Pokemon or Bakugan or Ninjago or whatever other Asian-sounding game boys play. Wait, so you have a card and that's the battle? You don't even flip the cards up against a wall and see who's is closer to win the card? No? You just read the card and that tells you who wins? Oh, reading, yeah that's crazy fun. Whatever happened to GI Joe? And why can't Legos just be Legos? Why do they have to be Ninja Legos? Maybe because I'm a girl and have two daughters that I don't understand boy toys. I don't understand why boys don't want to grab a doll and make him be a war hero and dive into mud puddles and drive a cool jeep and shoot the bad guys. And here's another thing I notice about boys - how are they so darn good at video games? Like, they don't even have to try and they're good at them. They play some game and get 450,000 points and I play the same game and get 4. Not 4,000, just 4. Boys are good at video games the same way they are at remembering every sports statistic they ever heard. Whatever, I'm never going to understand boys. I'm just going to go play Barbies and mind my business.