Questions

I would like to know why kids ask so many questions. They already have all the answers! Seriously, children will ask you a million questions and when you give them the answer, they either a) already knew it, 2) think you're wrong or d) ask even more questions to follow up on the first one. Case in point. Tonight, my daughter was watching the movie Selena. It's a great biography of a wonderfully talented woman whose life was ended at a young age by a lunatic. This is not the first time my daughter has seen the movie nor is it the first time we have discussed Selena (not Gomez!). But, here come the questions. Why did she kill her? Did Selena know she was going to kill her? What happened. My answer is that the woman who killed her was insane. Not good enough. You mean, she had real mental problems? She must have, I say. But, why? I don't know. Well, did Selena believe in God? I think so. Will she be in heaven? I don't know. Only God knows that. Well, why didn't the cops kill the crazy lady? That happens, right? When you kill someone and then you go to jail and the cops kill you. Well, no, that's not exactly what the death penalty is. Well, how do you know the lady is crazy? I saw an interview once with her and you could just tell she was nuts. Well, can we go on you tube and watch it? Ugh. Why do I even open my mouth?? I get myself into most of the trouble. My mom keeps telling my daughter she'll be a lawyer or a judge. I don't envy the criminal that ends up in her courtroom!

Pet cemetery

Well, I just found the remains of Hermie, the hermit crab in the tank. Now we are down to one hermit crab. I think at one time we had about six or seven. They're all named Hermie, by the way. Because, really, why would you give a hermit crab a name? They were actually the easiest of all the pets to take care of. They don't eat much. Not like the guinea pigs - who really are just that - pigs! They eat everything! I wish my kids ate as many fruits and veggies as these things eat. But I like them. They are super cute and I was really close to letting my oldest get another one the other day. The only problem with them is cleaning them! I wish they were more like cats. Oh, I have those too. I was down to one cat and then my sister went and got the girls a kitten each. So now we have a brother and sister and a mean old cat who hates everyone and bites my toes when I'm sleeping. So it's the dog (did I mention the dog?) the cats and the pigs and the crabs, well now it's down to one crab. Last week, Goldie, the holdout tropical fish, met his maker. My little one was pretty sad. Both girls believed the only way to grieve was to replace Goldie with another Goldie. But then I had already cleaned out the whole tank and wasn't dealing with setting it up again. Oh, an empty tank? says the older girl. Perfect. Now I can get a chameleon. Yeah, no. I'm not a big fan of the whole reptile, amphibian, insect thing. We had cute turtles and I didn't mind that. We had cute frogs and I could handle that too except that I had to go to the pet store every week for live crickets and then feed the live crickets to the frog and that was just icky. I used to be a sucker. When one pet died, I would replace it. Now, I'm getting smarter and more strong in my convictions. So, no is really meaning no lately. We take the weekly trip to the pet store, where my girls beg for kittens (because theirs aren't tiny anymore) and more guinea pigs and hamsters (because they're so cute and tiny) and rabbits. But this mom is no longer a sucker! I will not be broken. Yeah, right, I'm sure the next time you hear from me I'll be cleaning out a lizard cage!

BFFs

I love hanging out with my girls. And when I say my girls, I mean my daughters. They are fun and funny, smart, witty, silly, interesting, talented, kind. There are just so many things about them that make them a joy to be around. One of my favorite things about my kids is the things they say. They don't usually mean to do it, but they can make me laugh out loud with the little one-liners or the misuses of words - just funny kid things that make you giggle and yearn for more. And there are lots of things I like to do with my kids - even if we don't share the same passions, interests and hobbies, I still like spending time with them as they enjoy what they love. But, no matter how much I love just hanging out with them, it needs to be clear... we are not girlfriends. What is it with women feeling the need to be BFFs with their kids? Oh, yeah, let me take you to get your belly pierced. Let's go to the mall together and buy the same outfit. Wanna get matching tattoos? Wanna do a shot? That might all sound far-fetched, but it really isn't. There are way too many parents these days who think it is more important to be a friend than a parent. I'm not saying you shouldn't be a friend. You definitely should be a friend to your child - but you can't be a friend to them the way you are to a peer. That's the difference. Your child is not your peer. They need to respect you as a teacher, an elder, the rule maker, the decision maker, the authority. Because no matter how cool your kid thinks you are, if you're just their buddy, they will never respect you. And if they can't respect you, how are they supposed to learn how to respect themselves? So, yeah, I'll continue to hang out with my daughters as long as they'll let me. I might even get some matching temporary tattoos with them! Or not.