Sucka!

That is what I am. A big fat sucker. Let me tell you something - all those books and parenting magazine articles that tell you to say what you mean and mean what you say? The ones that tell you to make sure you follow through on something and don't give in? Listen to them! Heed the warning! Today, my lovely daughter asked me for some old magazines. Now, you probably don't know this about my daughter, but she has an affinity for cutting paper. Always has. She loves to cut paper. And more than cutting paper, she loves to leave little tiny, hard-to-pick-up scraps of paper all over the place as she is doing the cutting. And more than that, she loves leaving all those pieces of paper for me to clean up. So, today, as I'm handing her the magazine, I politely ask "Honey, you're not going to leave little pieces of paper all over the place, are you?" And she says "Yeah, I probably will and then you'll get mad and tell me I have to clean it up and then I won't and you'll take away my privileges and clean it up yourself." Wait, what? Did I hear that right? Did my daughter just pretty much tell me how the whole entire scenario would play out? Yup. She sure did. That girl speaks the truth! Talk about hammering the nail right on the head. I sort of felt like a Tom and Jerry cartoon where Tom gets duped and they make him look like a donkey. She knew exactly what would happen because that's what always happens. They make the mess, I get mad and then I clean it up anyway. What the heck am I doing? Why am I getting aggravated that they are watching TV while I am picking dirty laundry up off the floor? Wonderful parent that you are - right now you're saying "don't pick up it! Leave it there. Let them do it." But my mind works like this - I leave it there. They leave it there. I get irritated because it's there. They whine because they can't find any clean clothes to wear. We're late because there's a tantrum when the favorite shirt is located with pizza stains from last week and we will not leave the house until she can wear her favorite shirt. So, I pick up the clothes and mutter under my breath because I think I'm being proactive. That's just making excuses for my complete suckerishness! Tomorrow's a new day. I'm sticking to my guns. I will not pick up the paper scraps and dirty laundry.... until they're in bed!

I'm booked

When is it enough? Dance class. Gymnastics class. Religion class. Cheerleading. Music lessons. Girl Scouts. Soccer. When does it stop? Mind you, I'm not talking about my family. I have learned my lesson with all that business. But tonight, as I was waiting for my two daughters at dance class (they took a hip-hop class over the summer, that's all!) I was chatting with a friend about signing up for the fall. Another lady joined the conversation about her daughter taking the same class but wanting to take like three dance classes a week. And she wants to take gymnastics class and she will have CCD. So, that's every night, right? The kid's going into first grade. Can you say over-committed? Wasn't there a big uproar a decade ago about how over-scheduled children are and how it cuts into family time, homework and sleep? Didn't that message ever get through? Oh, and the lady has two daughters who are both in classes so she said three days a week she's driving back and forth across town twice. Yikes. I don't think it was just me b/c my girlfriend seemed to have the same thought - "Um, why don't you just say no?" (You were thinking that, right DG?) I don't think the idea of saying No to the girl has ever crossed her mind. Maybe I'm just a slacker. I think life is hard enough without all of those classes. I felt bad when my youngest was signed up for soccer and t-ball at the same time so I encouraged her to pick just one. Luckily, it was t-ball, which I like way better than soccer. But there were parents who brought their kids to soccer in the morning and t-ball in the afternoon. No way. At least, not for me. It's not even the inconvenience of devoting an entire Saturday to going to two different games. I think my then-five-year-old would have been exhausted. I think the problem is what kids want and what's best for them may not always be the same thing. Look at it this way - your son wants to stay up when the Yankees go into extra innings and there's nothing you'd like more than to sit next to him on the couch waiting for the dinger that will end the game. But, it's 10 pm and his bedtime has come and gone and you know, come 7 a.m., he will not have gotten enough sleep. So, what you want to do and what's best aren't equal. The right thing is to shut off the game and walk him to his bedroom, promising you'll watch SportsCenter the minute he's up the next morning. Yes, my daughter might want to take gymnastics class and she might want to sign up for cheerleading and dance class. And she might think the after-school clubs are right up her alley. But, it's my responsibility to say no. Sure, I could pick her up at school and feed her a snack on the way to dance class and the next day, we could have a quick dinner before it's time to head out to practice. And, yeah, she got her homework done. She may not retain anything she just learned, but it's done and that's what matters, right? Now, I'm not saying it's bad to have your kids involved in activities. But, just think about it - what's fun and great for them one day may not be so great for them the next. Okay, I'm done now. I gotta go check out the schedule for tennis and swim lessons!

Six

Dear Sabrina; Six years ago, right about this time, I was feeling sick to my stomach. I knew what it was. I had been through it about 3 and a half years earlier when I went into labor with my first child. I was a little nervous, hoping it wasn't false labor like I had the night before. Do you know how frustrating it is to think you're going to have a baby only to have a doctor tell you that you're not having contractions and kick you out of the hospital because they needed the bed for a woman who was really going to have a baby? But, there I was - feeling sick and knowing that this time just had to be it. It had to be. August 18 was your due date and there was no way I was letting you stay in there another minute. I think 2005 had more 100-degree days that any previous year. Do you know what it's like to be pregnant when it's 100 degrees? It might as well be a million degrees. Air conditioners don't work well enough. Water isn't cold enough. And who wants water anyway since it just makes me pee even more than the 42 times I go in an hour. I waited as long as I could - till about 3 in the morning - and then made your dad drive me to the hospital. He sure loved doing that two nights in a row. But, seriously, did I think this whole having a baby thing would be easy? I've heard it is for some ladies. I had a friend whose sister went to some magical hospital that gave her an epidural minutes after she arrived and didn't turn it off until AFTER the baby was born. That's right, I said after. She barely felt a thing! I don't understand why more women don't know about this place and flock there for their labor and delivery! But, I really can't complain. I didn't have a hard time with you. In fact, my labor nurse went around and told all the other laboring moms how I pushed you out in a couple of minutes and couldn't they do the same. I know this because I met a few ladies the next day and they actually said "Oh, you're the lady that had the fast baby. Yeah, we heard about you." I don't think they liked me much. Out you came at 8:04 a.m. It was different the second time around. You were smaller than your sister. You just seemed so tiny. And I no longer had an only child. Now I had two girls, just like my mom did. And, no one knew what your name was going to be until you were born. That's when we decided. I stayed in the hospital for two nights even though the crazy doctor told me I could go home the day after you were born. I used your birth as an excuse to get a good night's sleep in a bed and a room all by myself. I figured it was my last chance at that for a long time. Of course, these six years have flown by. Now you can no longer show me how old you are on one hand. You have to use two. You will be in first grade this year. You lost your first tooth this year. Your life is changing so quickly. It will seem like a flash and then I'll be writing you a letter on your 18th birthday and then another when you're getting married and then again when you're having a baby. I hope when that happens for you, it's as wonderful a blessing as it was for me. I know I speak for every mom when I say that motherhood is an amazing gift from God. And you, my little girl, are an amazing gift from God too. Happy 6th Birthday! xoxo