Looking at all of these Facebook posts with all the fun places people take their toddlers and cute traditions they have make me miss my kids when they were little. It also got me to thinking about the memories I have of their childhood and the things my kids actually remember.
I took my kids to Disney World when they were about 6 and 2.5. And they remember nothing. The youngest swears she had never been there, but I tell her I have pictures to prove it. I am not a Disney fan (hold back the gasps). I think it's cool and magical, but just too crowded and expensive for me. So, when I travelled there recently and tried to give my kids that experience since they couldn't remember it the first time, I wondered why I even bothered the first time around. Was it for them or for me? Since they couldn't remember any of it, was it just a waste? It was fun to see their eyes light up at the sight of Cinderella and wonder how great it must be to live in her beautiful castle. But when they were older, the magic was definitely gone. As I was walking through the happiest place on earth, I saw so many screaming, tired toddlers and so many stressed out parents trying to keep their kids happy (and quiet) while waiting on line for 40 minutes.
I'm not knocking Disney. This seems the case for all of these cool things we do for our kids when they are little. Sesame Street Live, the county fair, apple (or pumpkin or Christmas tree) picking, the zoo, the train show at the botanical gardens, the polar express. All of these fun things that we enjoy while we are doing them, but then can't remember 10 years later. Have I failed as a parent because I didn't make them enjoyable enough for them to remain a part of their memory?
Why is it that my youngest can't remember her first time meeting Mickey Mouse, but she can remember the color of the shirt she was wearing when someone took her crayon off the desk in her kindergarten class?
I think we are so lucky in these modern times to have the technology to document our children's lives at every turn. I have done my best to keep photos and videos and even have journals for both girls so they can look back and see how much I kept track of as they grew up. I kept art projects and ticket stubs and stuffed animals (okay, so maybe I have hoarding tendencies) just so they will know that those things were once very important to them.
When I see something beautiful and show it to my children, their first instinct is to take a picture of it and I balk. I tell them to just enjoy the moment. Enjoy the sunset. Enjoy watching the waves crash on the beach. Enjoy the snowfall. Enjoy the lit Christmas tree. Not everything needs to be photographed and shared on social media. Sometimes it's more beautiful to just look at.
With that logic, I answered my own question. Even if they don't remember the trip, it was worth it. It was worth it at that moment. And that's what I will remember.
Saturday, December 29, 2018
Sunday, December 2, 2018
The music in me
Sitting at work yesterday with my earbuds in, trying to listen to some good music from my phone. First song, Adele. Okay. Second song. Big Time Rush. Skip. Next song. Ariana Grande. Skip. Next song. Justin Bieber. Skip. You get the picture.
As I scroll through the hundreds of songs on my phone, it seems that there are very few that I actually purchased and fewer that I actually like. Smartphones are awesome in that I can buy a song the second I hear it, but I realize that those purchases were mostly made by my children.
Some of the stuff on there is so old - like those one time buys you made for a Halloween party or the time you bought a Wiggles song just you could annoy your children and play it over and over. But, the non-tech savvy person that I am doesn't ever seem to know how to delete songs so I am stuck with every High School Musical soundtrack ever made.
Sometimes a song will come on the playlist and not one of us remembers who bought it or why. So we laugh about it. We laugh about it the second time it happens too. But by the third time my kids are like "Dude, can you delete the song or what?"
And while we sometimes (rarely) agree on what music to play on a long car trip, it is clear to me that my daughters and I do not share the same taste in music.
I guess that is my fault. I guess I didn't play enough good music all the time for them to listen to and really get a good taste. My mother introduced me to The Rolling Stones and Cat Stevens. My dad is the reason I enjoy old Motown. But, what the heck have I given my children? My taste in music is so broad that I can pretty much listen to anything. So where do they find their musical home? A lot of kids will say "my parents love country music." I do too, but I don't listen to it all of the time. I like country and Christian and pop and hip-hop and rock. I shy away from jazz, opera, hard-core rap and serious metal. If you looked at my CD collection, you would not be able to figure anything out about me. Yes, it includes Garth Brooks, but also Eminem and Luciano Pavarotti.
So, what the heck can I do? My kids like the weirdest stuff in my opinion. I don't mind Post Malone for like one song a day, but an album? Um no. My kids will listen to good music when it's on, but it's not what they pick as their first choice. The first choice is usually some crap currently playing on the radio or something their favorite YouTuber likes. Most of the garbage on the radio today is the most fake, auto-tuned nonsense. It's sad that there is so much talent in the world, but marketing is the thing that makes you famous. Why should Selena Gomez or Camila Cabello get my money? They should really give all their money to their sound engineers because those are the people that actually make that stuff!
Anyway, I have to find a way to get my kids to know good music in their soul. To reach for it the first time and not just when I play it. I'm thinking I could just take their phones and delete all the junk and replace it with good tunes. But, that would require a person who knows how to do that. You think the guy at the Genius bar would do it for me? With my luck, he would do it for a fee and then give me a playlist made up of Panic at the Disco and My Chemical Romance. Ick.
As I scroll through the hundreds of songs on my phone, it seems that there are very few that I actually purchased and fewer that I actually like. Smartphones are awesome in that I can buy a song the second I hear it, but I realize that those purchases were mostly made by my children.
Some of the stuff on there is so old - like those one time buys you made for a Halloween party or the time you bought a Wiggles song just you could annoy your children and play it over and over. But, the non-tech savvy person that I am doesn't ever seem to know how to delete songs so I am stuck with every High School Musical soundtrack ever made.
Sometimes a song will come on the playlist and not one of us remembers who bought it or why. So we laugh about it. We laugh about it the second time it happens too. But by the third time my kids are like "Dude, can you delete the song or what?"
And while we sometimes (rarely) agree on what music to play on a long car trip, it is clear to me that my daughters and I do not share the same taste in music.
I guess that is my fault. I guess I didn't play enough good music all the time for them to listen to and really get a good taste. My mother introduced me to The Rolling Stones and Cat Stevens. My dad is the reason I enjoy old Motown. But, what the heck have I given my children? My taste in music is so broad that I can pretty much listen to anything. So where do they find their musical home? A lot of kids will say "my parents love country music." I do too, but I don't listen to it all of the time. I like country and Christian and pop and hip-hop and rock. I shy away from jazz, opera, hard-core rap and serious metal. If you looked at my CD collection, you would not be able to figure anything out about me. Yes, it includes Garth Brooks, but also Eminem and Luciano Pavarotti.
So, what the heck can I do? My kids like the weirdest stuff in my opinion. I don't mind Post Malone for like one song a day, but an album? Um no. My kids will listen to good music when it's on, but it's not what they pick as their first choice. The first choice is usually some crap currently playing on the radio or something their favorite YouTuber likes. Most of the garbage on the radio today is the most fake, auto-tuned nonsense. It's sad that there is so much talent in the world, but marketing is the thing that makes you famous. Why should Selena Gomez or Camila Cabello get my money? They should really give all their money to their sound engineers because those are the people that actually make that stuff!
Anyway, I have to find a way to get my kids to know good music in their soul. To reach for it the first time and not just when I play it. I'm thinking I could just take their phones and delete all the junk and replace it with good tunes. But, that would require a person who knows how to do that. You think the guy at the Genius bar would do it for me? With my luck, he would do it for a fee and then give me a playlist made up of Panic at the Disco and My Chemical Romance. Ick.
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