Is it just me?

Q: Why do things take 10 times as long to accomplish when a child is with you? Q: Why is it that parents of not-so-attractive kids take millions of photos of them and then send them to you via e-mail, text message, online message boards and any other way they can publicize them? Q: Why do children think that saying please, please, please, please, please will get you to change your answer from no to yes? Q: Why do parents who ignore their child's bad behavior seem so laid back and calm, while parents who scold their kids seem mean and strict? (that's rhetorical, by the way) Q: Why is it so important that things are fair? Why must the sibling get the same amount of blame? Why can't kids say sorry just because they're sorry and not because they think they're getting something out of it? Q: Why are kids always moving at a snail's pace when you're late and in a rush? Q: Why don't kids hear you when you say it's bedtime or time to clean up or time to do chores, but they hear you when you whisper something that they don't need to know? Q: Why don't kids appreciate the importance of nap time? You must have asked yourself these questions at least once in your career as a parent... or is it just me?

Words

What is it with kids? One minute they tell you they hate you. They wish they had a different mom. They want to go live with another family. They want you to die. Two minutes later, they love you more than anything in the world! To me, words are words. As a writer, if they're written on paper (or a keyboard) they have more of an impact. But when they're spoken, they can mean little. If you let them, the words can just fly away over your head and you'll forget them. Or, you can open your mind and heart and let them sink in and keep them. It's hard for me to just let some words go. It hurts when my daughter says awful things to me. But, she says them so often, that they've started to hurt less and less. Unfortunately, it's kind of the same with the nice words. When my kids say "I love you," it's almost like it's done just to fill up space. I know that's a horrible thing to think. I guess I've been molded by bad relationships where people say I love you as often as they say hello or goodbye (and with as much feeling). There's a book called the 5 Love Languages. It's a fantastic read, whether you're married, a parent, single, whatever. Using words is one of the languages. Some people just express themselves that way. Me? I'm a doer. I do things for people to show them how much I love them. In my family, we weren't huggy/kissy. We didn't (and still don't) show much through physical expression. We rarely say I love you. My dad started that when my parents got divorced. I do try to say it to my kids though - a lot. I feel it for a lot of people, but it just feels strange to say it sometimes. I don't know why. It's not a big deal. Maybe that should be something I work on in 2010 - expressing my feelings with words, giving more hugs and kisses. So, if you're reading this, I just want you to know - I love you!

You are not alone

Today, I was at a party, chattin' it up with two other mom friends - one has three boys and the other has three girls (and a boy on the way!) We were just talking about life with kids and it turns out that they have the exact same issues that I have! Their kids are angels and school and little non-angels at home. They don't want to get dressed. They don't want to get out of bed. They don't want to eat. They don't want to put on PJs or take a bath or do homework. They don't want to stick with a sport or activity - especially the ones that cost a ton of money. I always hated when I talked about my kid issues with moms and they would say stuff like "it's just a phase" or "this too shall pass." I'm sure that's all true, but it's of absolutely no help and provides me no solace at all to hear that "advice." This was more up my alley. Moms - different ages, different backgrounds, different situations - who were going through the exact same trials I am. Just to have someone laugh with you and say "I know" when you tell them how much little Billy drives you crazy. It really put my mind at ease. Oh, and did I mention we talked about wine too? Wine....