Heebie Jeebies

The older I get, the less I can tolerate anything. Why is that? I used to love roller coasters - going upside down and all that. Now, I get nauseous on a carousel. I worked for years around animals and nothing about their smells and discharge bothered me and then I had kids and nothing about their smells and discharge bothered me either. Now, everything grosses me out. (Personal note: Kara, if you're reading this, stop now - it's gonna get yucky). This weekend, I went to an indoor water park with my kids. After a few minutes, the skeeve set in. Do you ever get skeeved out about stuff? Like, when you're in the pool and the kid gets water up his nose so he just blows it out? Think about it. You've probably done it. Guys are famous for blowing their noses in their hand and then just flicking it clean. They want to clear their sinuses, they just snort it all in, hock it back up and loogey it on out. So, you're in the pool and you see a little black thing floating and all of a sudden you get visions of the Baby Ruth floating on the pool in Caddyshack. Or there's a bit of a sheen on the water that could be baby oil but who knows. You see kids in diapers - sure, they're swim diapers, but still. Well, I guess the ones in diapers are better than the ones just sitting there peeing, right? Or you find a band-aid floating in the water. Or some random hair. Look, I know all of this is normal. It happens. I'm a regular person and I'm sure my hair comes out or I lose a band-aid every once in a while. But, then you feel it ON you. You step in the hair or a piece or napkin or something that someone left on the floor and you just start feeling it. It's almost like having anxiety or a panic attack or something. It's like ON you. And there is no way you're going to shower off in the public locker rooms at the water park. So you have to drive home. And when you get there, you're in the shower and shampooing three times and scrubbing your flesh off and sticking q-tips in your ears to get something you might have missed. I don't know when I became this person. I used to be a firm believer in the "kiss it up to God" philosophy in life. Now, I'm a germophobe? Oh, what to do?!!