Party animals

How sad is your life when your kids stay up later than you? Okay, if you have teenagers and older, then it's okay - those crazy people can stay up for days! But, when your kids are young, it's kind of sad that you fall asleep before they do. I can remember a time when I would stay up until all hours of the night and not feel tired at all. Now, I'm yawning at 7. My kids? They're up till 10! And when I say up, I mean jumping, running, laughing, talking, reading, singing - doing whatever the opposite of sleeping is! It would be one thing if they would just lay there quietly while I stroked their hair and then they fell blissfully off to sleep. Not my girls - they want to party like rock stars. Bedtime equals playtime at our house. Now you'll understand those dark circles under our eyes.

Hooray for Poopy!

You know that saying - "Your child won't go to kindergarten in diapers"? Well, I wasn't so sure. I actually thought Sabrina might be known as the ultimate partyer in college because she'd never have to stop drinking to use the bathroom. She'd just pee in her diaper right in the middle of the action. Well, today is the day she proved me wrong - thank God! Yesterday, she made it an entire day in undies. No accidents (and when I say accidents, I mean purposely peeing on the dining room floor or the couch). I was so happy. It's not that I'm worried about the whole potty training thing or comparing her to her older sister who was potty trained at 2 after about a day of working on it. I just kind of want to stop shelling out $20 for a bag of pull-ups, you know? At first, Sabrina told me she didn't want to "ride the potty train," but she liked wearing big-girl undies and she said she'd try. I figured pee would be easy. She pees on the toilet at school. She does it at home when she feels like it. Poop? That's another story. Sabrina said No. And, really, what can I do? I can't make her poop on the toilet. I can't make her poop at all (well, I guess I could give her a laxative, but that's just mean!) A friend clued me in on this three-day potty regimen that requires you basically to stay home and follow your child, watching for any signs of their need to use the facilities. And, if you catch them in the middle of it, bring them right to the toilet. Can you just picture me running to the bathroom carrying my little girl as she drops a trail of poo nuggets along the way? I seriously considered the plan, but the idea of spending three days locked in the house with a backed-up 3-year-old and her impatient older sister is not my idea of a relaxing weekend. Oh, yeah, and the plan tells you to throw away all your diapers so you don't grab one in a moment of desperation. Hmm, sounds a lot like emptying the liquor cabinet after rehab! So, today, I was nonchalant. The undies went on as if it's something we do every day. She told me every time she had to pee. Then, I saw her walk behind a chair (a sure sign she's hiding to poop). I asked her if she had to go. "No, mama." Asked again. "Mommy, I need to poop in my diaper." So, I picked her up and brought her to the bathroom. I asked her if she wanted to big potty (our toilet) or the little one (a potty chair). She chose the little one. I felt so bad for this little girl. She kept standing up and sitting back down like she just couldn't get comfortable. And I just sat there like it was no big deal - just talked to her like I would any other moment of the day. Then, I saw the strain and her face scrunched up and turned a bit red. And, then, I heard it. A few little plunks and I knew the nuggets had found their way to the bowl beneath her bottom. I shrieked with joy, high-fived my girl and told her how happy and proud I am. Now, I told her, we will go buy the ballet shoes you've been asking for. She was so excited, she called about 10 people to let them know of her feat. And, wouldn't you know, she pooped twice today!

Bottom Photos

Last night, I went bowling with some friends that I have known my whole life. It was a great time - I love them all like my own family. My husband was there too. Not so happy about that! Someone let Chris know that the camera was in my purse. So I'm sure you're not surprised to know that every time someone bent over to help little Caty or Kimmy with their bowling ball, that's when the flash lit! How many pictures of bottoms do I need? When you take photos of people, do your best to not get shots of them from behind – especially when they are bending over. Do you realize how unflattering that is? Would you like me to post a picture of your tushie on Facebook? How about if I sent it to all your friends via Snapfish? Seriously. Could you edit these darn things? Could you not post them? I can guarantee you that your friends will like you just a little bit less if you make public a horrible photo of them. Listen, I know I’m not photogenic. But do you really have to remind me of it? And do you have to remind every person that I’ve ever met by posting the photo on a public message board. Oh, I get it. You think it’s funny that you took a bunch of pictures of me looking like a doped-up moron. Great. Thanks. I’ll remember that the next time I see you. Make sure you have your digital camera with you too so I can stick it where….Okay, see you soon!