Figured it out

I've learned the secret to not letting your kids drive you crazy. Oh, you're still reading? You think I really know it? Here it is - simple as can be. Ignore them. Apparently, this is the key to blissful motherhood. Do you not see this nearly everywhere you go? The kids that are screaming and running around and knocking things over and wrestling with each other and putting their filthy hands all over the cookies at the party. Where's their mom? Oh, there she is - over in the corner chatting it up with someone else. Her back is turned, so she doesn't see her children. She's laughing and talking, so she doesn't hear her children. She looks so relaxed, this chick. I think she might even have a tan! I know her nails are done and her hair looks good and I'm sure she just got those highlights in her hair because I don't see any roots. Are those pants actually ironed? When the heck does she find the time? And, wait, why is this other mom looking frazzled? Oh, she's the lady asking the maniacs to stop running around and knocking the little kids over. And they keep screaming and running and she's looking around wondering where their mom is and when the lady's going to rush over and apologize for not tending to her crazy kids. But there's no lady and the crazies just keep running and screaming and the attentive mom is trying so hard to stay patient. That must be why she's got a vein popping out of her forehead. So, there's the secret. It's like the lost fountain of "I could give a crap" and more and more moms seem to be finding it and taking a sip. I'm going to grab a glass.

Splash

My kids can pretty much get me to do anything. Even things I really, really, really don't want to do. On Sunday, we went to an indoor waterpark in Lake George. It was fantastic. They loved it. Me, I could have just sat on the sidelines and read a book. I mean, I liked it too, but I could have lived without it, you know? They had so much energy. I wanted to take a nap - I don't know why, but playing in water just wipes me out! But, as tired as I was, I kept doing it. I kept running back up the stairs and going down the slide. The little one wanted me on the green slide and the big one wanted the blue slide. So, back and forth I went - racing them to see who could get to the bottom the fastest. I paddled down that lazy river about 100 times and I even went on some giant raft down a giant tube that made the girls scream like crazy. Apparently, I suffer from vertigo (who knew) but I kept doing it. I kept climbing up the stairs and waiting our turn. I held onto them while they screamed from terror or joy or whatever it was that made them scream. And as much as I wanted to just steal away and sink into the hot tub, I didn't. I played along for hours and hours - just for those silly girls.

A Mother's Job

What's the saying? A woman's work is never done? Did a woman coin that phrase because it's so very true or did a man coin it because he wanted it to be the way of the world? As a mom, our jobs are never, ever done. There is never a time when you can sit on the couch with your feet up and a drink in hand because everything that needed to be accomplished has been. There is always something more that could be done. And if it's not something we as moms put on our to-do lists, it's tasks others give us to do. Yesterday was one of those manic days for me. Laundry, grocery shopping, dishes, meeting, cooking, driving kid to school, picking kid up from school, going to a friend's house, continuing cooking. It was just a marathon day. But, you think you've gotten something done because you've done three loads of laundry and a load of dishes. Then you realize that you've got to fold that laundry and put it all away. And you've got to unload the dishwasher and put all of that away too. And then you realize that you need to mend something that was in the laundry. And the wine glass in the dishwasher reminds you that you need to get a gift for your husband's co-worker. And the trip to the grocery store has you forgetting at least one important thing on your list so you have to go out later and get it. And the dinner that you thought was going to be ready isn't ready so you've got to go back out and get something to replace it. And the meeting that you thought was going to be a breeze gives you five more reports to write up and e-mails to send. And when you're checking your e-mails you realize that it was library day at school and you forgot the books so you have to dig through the house and find them and then drop them off. And when you're digging, you find more laundry that has to be done. And then you find a calendar that reminds you it's your turn to bring snack to pre-school so you have to go back to the store to get something to feed 8 kids. And then you realize that you haven't started the new dinner that you just bought. And, just when you think you're about to lose your mind from all of that, you kids come home from school and ask you to find the television remote!