Looking at all of these Facebook posts with all the fun places people take their toddlers and cute traditions they have make me miss my kids when they were little. It also got me to thinking about the memories I have of their childhood and the things my kids actually remember.
I took my kids to Disney World when they were about 6 and 2.5. And they remember nothing. The youngest swears she had never been there, but I tell her I have pictures to prove it. I am not a Disney fan (hold back the gasps). I think it's cool and magical, but just too crowded and expensive for me. So, when I travelled there recently and tried to give my kids that experience since they couldn't remember it the first time, I wondered why I even bothered the first time around. Was it for them or for me? Since they couldn't remember any of it, was it just a waste? It was fun to see their eyes light up at the sight of Cinderella and wonder how great it must be to live in her beautiful castle. But when they were older, the magic was definitely gone. As I was walking through the happiest place on earth, I saw so many screaming, tired toddlers and so many stressed out parents trying to keep their kids happy (and quiet) while waiting on line for 40 minutes.
I'm not knocking Disney. This seems the case for all of these cool things we do for our kids when they are little. Sesame Street Live, the county fair, apple (or pumpkin or Christmas tree) picking, the zoo, the train show at the botanical gardens, the polar express. All of these fun things that we enjoy while we are doing them, but then can't remember 10 years later. Have I failed as a parent because I didn't make them enjoyable enough for them to remain a part of their memory?
Why is it that my youngest can't remember her first time meeting Mickey Mouse, but she can remember the color of the shirt she was wearing when someone took her crayon off the desk in her kindergarten class?
I think we are so lucky in these modern times to have the technology to document our children's lives at every turn. I have done my best to keep photos and videos and even have journals for both girls so they can look back and see how much I kept track of as they grew up. I kept art projects and ticket stubs and stuffed animals (okay, so maybe I have hoarding tendencies) just so they will know that those things were once very important to them.
When I see something beautiful and show it to my children, their first instinct is to take a picture of it and I balk. I tell them to just enjoy the moment. Enjoy the sunset. Enjoy watching the waves crash on the beach. Enjoy the snowfall. Enjoy the lit Christmas tree. Not everything needs to be photographed and shared on social media. Sometimes it's more beautiful to just look at.
With that logic, I answered my own question. Even if they don't remember the trip, it was worth it. It was worth it at that moment. And that's what I will remember.
Saturday, December 29, 2018
Sunday, December 2, 2018
The music in me
Sitting at work yesterday with my earbuds in, trying to listen to some good music from my phone. First song, Adele. Okay. Second song. Big Time Rush. Skip. Next song. Ariana Grande. Skip. Next song. Justin Bieber. Skip. You get the picture.
As I scroll through the hundreds of songs on my phone, it seems that there are very few that I actually purchased and fewer that I actually like. Smartphones are awesome in that I can buy a song the second I hear it, but I realize that those purchases were mostly made by my children.
Some of the stuff on there is so old - like those one time buys you made for a Halloween party or the time you bought a Wiggles song just you could annoy your children and play it over and over. But, the non-tech savvy person that I am doesn't ever seem to know how to delete songs so I am stuck with every High School Musical soundtrack ever made.
Sometimes a song will come on the playlist and not one of us remembers who bought it or why. So we laugh about it. We laugh about it the second time it happens too. But by the third time my kids are like "Dude, can you delete the song or what?"
And while we sometimes (rarely) agree on what music to play on a long car trip, it is clear to me that my daughters and I do not share the same taste in music.
I guess that is my fault. I guess I didn't play enough good music all the time for them to listen to and really get a good taste. My mother introduced me to The Rolling Stones and Cat Stevens. My dad is the reason I enjoy old Motown. But, what the heck have I given my children? My taste in music is so broad that I can pretty much listen to anything. So where do they find their musical home? A lot of kids will say "my parents love country music." I do too, but I don't listen to it all of the time. I like country and Christian and pop and hip-hop and rock. I shy away from jazz, opera, hard-core rap and serious metal. If you looked at my CD collection, you would not be able to figure anything out about me. Yes, it includes Garth Brooks, but also Eminem and Luciano Pavarotti.
So, what the heck can I do? My kids like the weirdest stuff in my opinion. I don't mind Post Malone for like one song a day, but an album? Um no. My kids will listen to good music when it's on, but it's not what they pick as their first choice. The first choice is usually some crap currently playing on the radio or something their favorite YouTuber likes. Most of the garbage on the radio today is the most fake, auto-tuned nonsense. It's sad that there is so much talent in the world, but marketing is the thing that makes you famous. Why should Selena Gomez or Camila Cabello get my money? They should really give all their money to their sound engineers because those are the people that actually make that stuff!
Anyway, I have to find a way to get my kids to know good music in their soul. To reach for it the first time and not just when I play it. I'm thinking I could just take their phones and delete all the junk and replace it with good tunes. But, that would require a person who knows how to do that. You think the guy at the Genius bar would do it for me? With my luck, he would do it for a fee and then give me a playlist made up of Panic at the Disco and My Chemical Romance. Ick.
As I scroll through the hundreds of songs on my phone, it seems that there are very few that I actually purchased and fewer that I actually like. Smartphones are awesome in that I can buy a song the second I hear it, but I realize that those purchases were mostly made by my children.
Some of the stuff on there is so old - like those one time buys you made for a Halloween party or the time you bought a Wiggles song just you could annoy your children and play it over and over. But, the non-tech savvy person that I am doesn't ever seem to know how to delete songs so I am stuck with every High School Musical soundtrack ever made.
Sometimes a song will come on the playlist and not one of us remembers who bought it or why. So we laugh about it. We laugh about it the second time it happens too. But by the third time my kids are like "Dude, can you delete the song or what?"
And while we sometimes (rarely) agree on what music to play on a long car trip, it is clear to me that my daughters and I do not share the same taste in music.
I guess that is my fault. I guess I didn't play enough good music all the time for them to listen to and really get a good taste. My mother introduced me to The Rolling Stones and Cat Stevens. My dad is the reason I enjoy old Motown. But, what the heck have I given my children? My taste in music is so broad that I can pretty much listen to anything. So where do they find their musical home? A lot of kids will say "my parents love country music." I do too, but I don't listen to it all of the time. I like country and Christian and pop and hip-hop and rock. I shy away from jazz, opera, hard-core rap and serious metal. If you looked at my CD collection, you would not be able to figure anything out about me. Yes, it includes Garth Brooks, but also Eminem and Luciano Pavarotti.
So, what the heck can I do? My kids like the weirdest stuff in my opinion. I don't mind Post Malone for like one song a day, but an album? Um no. My kids will listen to good music when it's on, but it's not what they pick as their first choice. The first choice is usually some crap currently playing on the radio or something their favorite YouTuber likes. Most of the garbage on the radio today is the most fake, auto-tuned nonsense. It's sad that there is so much talent in the world, but marketing is the thing that makes you famous. Why should Selena Gomez or Camila Cabello get my money? They should really give all their money to their sound engineers because those are the people that actually make that stuff!
Anyway, I have to find a way to get my kids to know good music in their soul. To reach for it the first time and not just when I play it. I'm thinking I could just take their phones and delete all the junk and replace it with good tunes. But, that would require a person who knows how to do that. You think the guy at the Genius bar would do it for me? With my luck, he would do it for a fee and then give me a playlist made up of Panic at the Disco and My Chemical Romance. Ick.
Sunday, November 25, 2018
Grocery bills
Have you ever seen a movie where the dad puts too much detergent in the washer (or dishwasher) and then a few minutes later, the room is full of suds? That's what my shower looks like every time my 13-year-old goes in there. I don't know what she's doing in there, but it requires a lot of time and product and produces a lot of suds.
Yes, I'm sure she would be mortified by this, but I need to make it public to prove a point. Teenage girls consume just as much as teenage boys. They just consume differently.
I don't have any sons, but judging from the number of times the moms of teenage boys do a
Facebook check-in at the grocery store each week, it is safe to say that most of that food shopping is being done to satisfy the ravenous male teens and their friends. I've got to say, as fun as it must be to have those kids hanging out at your house all the time, there have to be days when you want to just lie and say "the carpets are being cleaned" or "we're fumigating for termites" so all of them have to go to someone else's house and raid their fridge.
I may be wrong, but one good thing about boys' appetites is that they are not too picky. Sure, they have their likes and dislikes but I bet, if they are really hungry, they will eat just about anything and much of it requires little more than opening a package or 3 minutes in the microwave. So you don't have to slave over the stove for them or pick out the most expensive snacks in the store.
This is where the difference comes in. What girls consume is usually more expensive and requires much more time to pick out. Beauty products. I'm not kidding when I tell you that my kids use more product in a month than I use in a year. Of course, I use soap and shampoo and moisturizer, but that's pretty much where it ends. I don't need four kinds of face wash and special water and wipes that remove makeup. I don't need foams, creams, gels, pomades or sprays. Seriously, just soap. And fewer than five minutes in the shower. How long does it take? What are you doing in there? And why do you need so much?
I think when I was a kid, my mom bought shampoo (the cheap kind), soap (not body wash) and deodorant (again, the cheap kind) like every other month. If I asked her to spend $12.99 on face wash or get bath fizzies and body wash in a specialty store, she probably would have just told me to put it on my Christmas list and hoped I forgot about it. Her biggest splurge was Nivea.
Maybe it's because I grew up in an apartment building where there were five other families that also needed hot water. I just think you go in, wash, and get out. My kids think it's time to listen to a new playlist and produce so much steam you would think there was a sauna in operation.
My favorite is when they use all the shampoo and don't bother to tell me. I love that. I think moms of boys experience that regularly when they reach for the milk for their morning coffee and find half a drop left in the almost empty container. And you can't put water in and shake up the milk to get the last bit out like you can with shampoo!
So, here's to all us grocery shoppers - living the life as we fill up our carts and put dents in our wallets and stock our shelves. May we always have enough to satisfy the teen hunger.
Yes, I'm sure she would be mortified by this, but I need to make it public to prove a point. Teenage girls consume just as much as teenage boys. They just consume differently.
I don't have any sons, but judging from the number of times the moms of teenage boys do a
Facebook check-in at the grocery store each week, it is safe to say that most of that food shopping is being done to satisfy the ravenous male teens and their friends. I've got to say, as fun as it must be to have those kids hanging out at your house all the time, there have to be days when you want to just lie and say "the carpets are being cleaned" or "we're fumigating for termites" so all of them have to go to someone else's house and raid their fridge.
I may be wrong, but one good thing about boys' appetites is that they are not too picky. Sure, they have their likes and dislikes but I bet, if they are really hungry, they will eat just about anything and much of it requires little more than opening a package or 3 minutes in the microwave. So you don't have to slave over the stove for them or pick out the most expensive snacks in the store.
This is where the difference comes in. What girls consume is usually more expensive and requires much more time to pick out. Beauty products. I'm not kidding when I tell you that my kids use more product in a month than I use in a year. Of course, I use soap and shampoo and moisturizer, but that's pretty much where it ends. I don't need four kinds of face wash and special water and wipes that remove makeup. I don't need foams, creams, gels, pomades or sprays. Seriously, just soap. And fewer than five minutes in the shower. How long does it take? What are you doing in there? And why do you need so much?
I think when I was a kid, my mom bought shampoo (the cheap kind), soap (not body wash) and deodorant (again, the cheap kind) like every other month. If I asked her to spend $12.99 on face wash or get bath fizzies and body wash in a specialty store, she probably would have just told me to put it on my Christmas list and hoped I forgot about it. Her biggest splurge was Nivea.
Maybe it's because I grew up in an apartment building where there were five other families that also needed hot water. I just think you go in, wash, and get out. My kids think it's time to listen to a new playlist and produce so much steam you would think there was a sauna in operation.
My favorite is when they use all the shampoo and don't bother to tell me. I love that. I think moms of boys experience that regularly when they reach for the milk for their morning coffee and find half a drop left in the almost empty container. And you can't put water in and shake up the milk to get the last bit out like you can with shampoo!
So, here's to all us grocery shoppers - living the life as we fill up our carts and put dents in our wallets and stock our shelves. May we always have enough to satisfy the teen hunger.
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