Grocery bills

Have you ever seen a movie where the dad puts too much detergent in the washer (or dishwasher) and then a few minutes later, the room is full of suds? That's what my shower looks like every time my 13-year-old goes in there. I don't know what she's doing in there, but it requires a lot of time and product and produces a lot of suds.

Yes, I'm sure she would be mortified by this, but I need to make it public to prove a point. Teenage girls consume just as much as teenage boys. They just consume differently.

I don't have any sons, but judging from the number of times the moms of teenage boys do a
Facebook check-in at the grocery store each week, it is safe to say that most of that food shopping is being done to satisfy the ravenous male teens and their friends. I've got to say, as fun as it must be to have those kids hanging out at your house all the time, there have to be days when you want to just lie and say "the carpets are being cleaned" or "we're fumigating for termites" so all of them have to go to someone else's house and raid their fridge.

I may be wrong, but one good thing about boys' appetites is that they are not too picky. Sure, they have their likes and dislikes but I bet, if they are really hungry, they will eat just about anything and much of it requires little more than opening a package or 3 minutes in the microwave. So you don't have to slave over the stove for them or pick out the most expensive snacks in the store.

This is where the difference comes in. What girls consume is usually more expensive and requires much more time to pick out. Beauty products. I'm not kidding when I tell you that my kids use more product in a month than I use in a year. Of course, I use soap and shampoo and moisturizer, but that's pretty much where it ends. I don't need four kinds of face wash and special water and wipes that remove makeup. I don't need foams, creams, gels, pomades or sprays. Seriously, just soap. And fewer than five minutes in the shower. How long does it take? What are you doing in there? And why do you need so much?

I think when I was a kid, my mom bought shampoo (the cheap kind), soap (not body wash) and deodorant (again, the cheap kind) like every other month. If I asked her to spend $12.99 on face wash or get bath fizzies and body wash in a specialty store, she probably would have just told me to put it on my Christmas list and hoped I forgot about it. Her biggest splurge was Nivea.

Maybe it's because I grew up in an apartment building where there were five other families that also needed hot water. I just think you go in, wash, and get out. My kids think it's time to listen to a new playlist and produce so much steam you would think there was a sauna in operation.

My favorite is when they use all the shampoo and don't bother to tell me. I love that. I think moms of boys experience that regularly when they reach for the milk for their morning coffee and find half a drop left in the almost empty container. And you can't put water in and shake up the milk to get the last bit out like you can with shampoo!

So, here's to all us grocery shoppers - living the life as we fill up our carts and put dents in our wallets and stock our shelves. May we always have enough to satisfy the teen hunger.