Fighting again!

My kids yesterday were "play fighting". First it started as a fake fight - you know like wrestlers do where they pretend to slap someone but really don't. Then it got to "we can hit each other a little bit" according to the older one and the little one said "okay, but no kicking." They even made up fighting names - Noogie and Wedgie. I see a future in the MMA.

Tag Team

My kids act like they want to rip each other's hair out most of the time. But, there is one instance when they are the closest, happiest, most loving sisters ever - when they are teaming up on me! It usually starts with the older one. She gets sassy or does something she knows is wrong and then convinces the little one to join in. There's usually some type of conference - a whisper, a knowing look, a nudge - and then they attack. The two-on-one method seems to work for these girls and it makes them giddy with power. They love to hide in a bedroom and have one come out, do something silly, and then run back to report her victory to her teammate. I hate to stop them, because this is when they are acting like real sisters. But, more often than not, it ends up bad. There's a fight. Someone gets in trouble. It gets out of hand. They need to learn when their time in the ring is up!

Blame game

My daughter is standing in the middle of a room. No one is near her. She stubs her toe. Immediately, she screams and cries "thanks a lot" to her sister for making her stub said toe. HUH? It's her sister's fault? Yes, apparently, that is true. This is what happens now that my kids are old enough to realize they can blame their mistakes on someone else. If I talk, that alters the balance in the universe and makes my daughter make a mistake on her homework assignment. If I look at her while she's brushing her hair, it comes out all wrong and she looks hideous (her word). How can it possibly be your sister's fault that you smacked her? And, the older one will say "she hit me first." Um, no she didn't. I was standing right here the entire time and she didn't touch you. "Yes, she did," the older one screams. "Why don't you believe me?!!" I'm sure it's just a phase. I'm sure it's a waste of time to expect my child to be rational and to understand lying and blaming are wrong. The phase better end soon!

Wisdom

If you tell your daughter you hate a certain article of clothing, she will love it!

I'm sick....

Poor kids. I feel bad for them when they're sick. I feel bad for me too. This morning, the little one woke up earlier than usual. I could tell she wasn't feeling great because she just wanted to lay around on the couch. She took a nap, but there didn't seem to be anything physically wrong with her. But, that didn't stop her from whining and wanting me to hold her and sit next to her for hours on end. I couldn't even get up to pee! When I'm sick, I usually just want to be left alone. I don't want to be around other people when I'm feeling bad. Kids seem to be the opposite. They want you right there every minute. And when you're not snuggling with them, they want you to get them a blanket or a drink or a toy or a book or whatever it is they think will make them feel better at that moment. I guess that's why moms catch everything their kids have!

Kids and pets

Mom, I swear, if you get me this rabbit/snake/dog/hamster/turtle, I will take care of it. I promise. I will feed it and walk it and clean the cage and.... Yeah right! We have easy pets. It started with tropical fish. I don't mind the tank. It's small, pretty to look at and doesn't take much work to maintain. But it didn't end there. I get it. You can't hold a fish. You can't play with it. So, we ended up with hermit crabs and then fire-belly toads and turtles. The toads died and the crabs just chill out in the sand. Today, I took a dead turtle back to the store. When did I get here? How did I become a woman that would put a dead turtle in a plastic container and drive it to the store to get a replacement? Ick. Now, they think they're getting a dog. Wait, not a dog - two dogs. They each want one! When I say "who is going to take care of the dog?" they ask "what do you mean?" I explain that dogs need constant care, attention, feeding, exercise, play and cleaning up. So, who is going to take care of the dog? "You are Mommy!"

Slow down!

This morning, for some crazy reason, my daughters said they want belly rings. Wh-wh-what? This is the moment when the record scratches, the music stops, you drive off the road - you know, the kind of moment when all of a sudden your life flashes in front of your eyes. Now, instead of seeing yourself at the Wharton graduation or the NASA launch, you see yourself in a bail bonds office or signing up for trade school. Look, I'm not saying that a belly ring automatically means jail. I just mean that 4- and 7-year-old girls shouldn't know about freakin' belly rings. They shouldn't know about tongue rings and eyebrow piercing and blue hair and mohawks. Stuff like that should make them stare wide-eyed and then turn away in fear. It shouldn't be an attraction! One of the problems is that my husband and I both have younger sisters. My girls constantly see young women who have chosen to display their "assets" instead of cover them up. To kids, that is cool and pretty. The line between what is appropriate and what isn't has moved so far that parents of girls are facing a tough battle. I told my girls that when they turn 21, they can make whatever choices they deem appropriate. So, I have a few years to work on them.

Is it just me?

Q: Why do things take 10 times as long to accomplish when a child is with you? Q: Why is it that parents of not-so-attractive kids take millions of photos of them and then send them to you via e-mail, text message, online message boards and any other way they can publicize them? Q: Why do children think that saying please, please, please, please, please will get you to change your answer from no to yes? Q: Why do parents who ignore their child's bad behavior seem so laid back and calm, while parents who scold their kids seem mean and strict? (that's rhetorical, by the way) Q: Why is it so important that things are fair? Why must the sibling get the same amount of blame? Why can't kids say sorry just because they're sorry and not because they think they're getting something out of it? Q: Why are kids always moving at a snail's pace when you're late and in a rush? Q: Why don't kids hear you when you say it's bedtime or time to clean up or time to do chores, but they hear you when you whisper something that they don't need to know? Q: Why don't kids appreciate the importance of nap time? You must have asked yourself these questions at least once in your career as a parent... or is it just me?

Words

What is it with kids? One minute they tell you they hate you. They wish they had a different mom. They want to go live with another family. They want you to die. Two minutes later, they love you more than anything in the world! To me, words are words. As a writer, if they're written on paper (or a keyboard) they have more of an impact. But when they're spoken, they can mean little. If you let them, the words can just fly away over your head and you'll forget them. Or, you can open your mind and heart and let them sink in and keep them. It's hard for me to just let some words go. It hurts when my daughter says awful things to me. But, she says them so often, that they've started to hurt less and less. Unfortunately, it's kind of the same with the nice words. When my kids say "I love you," it's almost like it's done just to fill up space. I know that's a horrible thing to think. I guess I've been molded by bad relationships where people say I love you as often as they say hello or goodbye (and with as much feeling). There's a book called the 5 Love Languages. It's a fantastic read, whether you're married, a parent, single, whatever. Using words is one of the languages. Some people just express themselves that way. Me? I'm a doer. I do things for people to show them how much I love them. In my family, we weren't huggy/kissy. We didn't (and still don't) show much through physical expression. We rarely say I love you. My dad started that when my parents got divorced. I do try to say it to my kids though - a lot. I feel it for a lot of people, but it just feels strange to say it sometimes. I don't know why. It's not a big deal. Maybe that should be something I work on in 2010 - expressing my feelings with words, giving more hugs and kisses. So, if you're reading this, I just want you to know - I love you!

You are not alone

Today, I was at a party, chattin' it up with two other mom friends - one has three boys and the other has three girls (and a boy on the way!) We were just talking about life with kids and it turns out that they have the exact same issues that I have! Their kids are angels and school and little non-angels at home. They don't want to get dressed. They don't want to get out of bed. They don't want to eat. They don't want to put on PJs or take a bath or do homework. They don't want to stick with a sport or activity - especially the ones that cost a ton of money. I always hated when I talked about my kid issues with moms and they would say stuff like "it's just a phase" or "this too shall pass." I'm sure that's all true, but it's of absolutely no help and provides me no solace at all to hear that "advice." This was more up my alley. Moms - different ages, different backgrounds, different situations - who were going through the exact same trials I am. Just to have someone laugh with you and say "I know" when you tell them how much little Billy drives you crazy. It really put my mind at ease. Oh, and did I mention we talked about wine too? Wine....