The big picture

Ask anyone you know who has a child and they will tell you that time flies. One minute, your daughter is a little cutie with chubby legs and the next minute she's starting kindergarten. In the blink of an eye, it seems your child grows up. So doesn't it make sense that they will very quickly become an adult? Think about it. What do you want your child to be five years, 10 years, 20 years from now? Do you want a kind, responsible person of character? Sure you do. Do you want a spoiled, uncaring, selfish person? Of course not. You may not think it, but what you are doing now is creating that adult. Do you think nasty people just got that way overnight? Do you think they were happy kids in a loving environment who just decided "Nah, I'm not gonna be happy and loving like my parents were. I'm gonna be a jerk." Most people don't think in terms of the big picture when it comes to their kids. You may invest money for their college education, but are you investing time and effort in raising them to become a person of character? Are you raising your child to be honest when you cheat on your taxes or don't return the wallet you found on the ground at the gas station? Are you raising your child to be independent when you let him sit on the couch watching Elmo while you clean up his toys and crayons? Are you raising your child to be fair and loyal when you let her little sister get away with everything and take her side in the sibling rivalry? Are you raising your child to be a good friend when you gossip about yours on the phone? Remember, your children are always watching you. You might not think they get it, but they might. They hear you and see you and they will do what you do. And remember, that you are building a foundation. You will never have a strong house if you build it out of straw. If you don't give your child the tools they need to thrive, you are doing them a disservice. Yes, you are doing your job by giving them the basics they need to survive, but don't you want them to thrive? Don't you want a child who will go out into the world and be a good worker, a good spouse, a good humanitarian, a good parent? Equip them with the tools. Give them your all. Set the bar high. Let your child know that you have high expectations and that you believe they can reach them. If you never expect anything great of your kids, they won't expect anything of themselves. They might not always be the best at everything (or anything) but if they are putting forth a good effort, that's what matters. It's hard work - you can't raise the bar for your kids unless you live up to the model. You can't expect your kids to be responsible with their allowance if you bounce checks left and right. You can't expect them to think about good nutrition if you're serving chicken nuggets, hot dogs and mac & cheese for dinner every night. And as much as you might not think that every moment is important, there are so many things that happen on a daily basis that are teachable moments that will shape the person your child becomes. So, I'm challenging you, my friends. I expect the best of you as parents and I believe in you. I know you can be even better today than you were yesterday!