What do you know?

When you are a stay at home mom, many times you feel out of touch with the world. You feel like you lose a lot of knowledge because most of your days are spent talking to children and watching cartoons. You sometimes miss the whole routine of getting up and getting ready for work. You miss that morning bagel from the guy on the corner of Park and 47th. You miss talking to adults and making decisions besides whether or not to make grilled cheese or chicken nuggets or whether you should sign up for the mommy and me music class or the mommy and me yoga class. You miss retaining information. You miss the idea that one stroke of the pen from you could change the lives of someone or lots of someones. You miss actually using all of the education, skills and talent that are locked away along with your business suits and heels. Let me tell you why it doesn't matter. You don't need any knowledge because your children have all of it. They know everything. They don't need you to tell them a thing. So all of that learning you did, all of those years that you went to school, mean absolutely nothing. Nothing! Tell your parents they wasted tens of thousands of dollars. Call Sallie Mae and let them know you don't need to pay off your loan because the degree it paid for is worthless in the eyes of your child. Oh, and not just your child - ALL children. Yes, it's true... ALL children think you are wrong. They all know the answer to everything. They were born omnipotent. Isn't it wonderful? And they don't waste a second letting you know what they know. In my day (wow, I sound like my father!) we called that backtalk and backtalk is a no-no, isn't it? I think it is. I guess I should ask my kids. They'll probably know the answer.l