You know that saying "more is caught than taught?" I feel that, as a parent, there is nothing more true than that. There is a scene in the movie 42 where a young boy wants to cheer for Jackie Robinson and then hears his dad call the legendary baseball player the most horrendous and derogatory name and he, like his father, starts to shout the same racial slurs. It is heartbreaking, but is so much representative of our culture.
This past weekend, I ventured into Target. Now, it was a Sunday and there were a lot of families in there doing college shopping. It is understandable for people to be stressed when they put these important life choices (what color comforter? how many towels?) off to the last minute. But, surprisingly, Target wasn't awfully crowded and the line was moving at a decent pace.
Until Trashy McGee got on line. He was a person behind me so I didn't notice. The young man in line in front of me let me go first because he needed a self-checkout that accepted cash. So now Trashy would be two people behind me. The cash kid stepped up and had to wait because the machine needed ID or something. So, by then, Trashy was at the next self-checkout. And his machine started to act up. His kid, probably about 9 or 10, was being patient. But the dad was another story. He started yelling "Yo. Hello. Can we get a human over here? Does anyone actually work here? We need a human over here."
The entire checkout audience did a collective eye roll. It was not event 11am and this guy was already either on his fourth beer or his fourth cup of coffee and he was pissed. It didn't take long for someone to run over - the store is obviously understaffed and these kids are running back and forth doing online orders. When she did come over, instead of letting her help cash guy (who was there first) Trashy waved her over and basically criticized her slow gait, the lack of employees, Target in general and everyone else on the planet because he had to wait 36 seconds to swipe his card.
A woman behind him said "you don't have to be so rude" and he told her to shut the f*ck up. She then said something about talking like that in front of his kid, which sent him into a tirade of F bombs about her audacity in questioning his (obviously stellar) parenting skills. The woman was calm, but you could tell she just wanted to stick up for the poor girl who was trying to punch in her key code and get the heck out of that situation. She was trying to stick up for that little boy who was obviously embarrassed. And then Trashy had the nerve to call this woman a fat, f*ckin bitch. Fat? Really. Trashy, you have boobs. I don't mean like some big pecs from working out - you have literal boobs that could comfortably fit into a C or D cup. And you have the nerve to call a woman fat and tell her to go F herself?
Listen, I have a bad mouth. I have a bad temper. I'm all for yelling at someone who really deserves it. But that lady didn't. The workers didn't. The kids working were all patient and friendly and helpful. But, does Trashy's son learn that his dad is a jerk? Or does he learn that this is the way to get what you want no matter who you offend? No kid wants to think their dad is a jerk. But, if that is how you grow up - watching someone to talk to people like they don't matter - then it's hard to not turn into that person yourself.
Sometimes, I watch how my daughters interact with other people and wonder if they saw me do that or they just did that on their own. I hope the way I behave in public is something they aren't embarrassed about. I feel like my mom taught me good manners and how to be kind to people. I know I have a LOT of faults, but not yelling at people in public is one of the things I think I am okay at.
And I will say this - the woman who called Trashy out? She had an adorable doofy pit bull with her and in my head, I was hoping that dog would just flip a switch and bite that Trashy guy right in the butt to get him to shut up. I'm sure I'm not the only one!
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