The other day, I was telling a young man I know that the phone will soon be ringing off the hook with girls calling to talk to him. When his sister said "That won't happen," I started to argue with her about how adorable her brother was and how he will have the girls swooning some day and she said "No one calls your house."
Ouch.
No one calls your house.
Instead you will get a text or a Snapchat request or some other impersonal form of communication.
Now I'm about to sound REALLY old, but these kids today will never know what it is like to talk to someone at the beginning of a relationship. They won't know what it's like to pick up the phone just to make sure there is a dial tone. They won't ever stretch the cord of the kitchen phone into their room or get yelled at for being on the phone for hours. They won't know what it's like to feel rich when your parents got call waiting or, better yet, a second phone line. Their phone won't ring at 2 in the morning and their father won't answer it and tell the boy on the other end that if he ever calls again he will hunt him down and rip his ears off. They won't ever feel the power of slamming a phone down after an argument. (I mean, how tough can you feel pressing a screen with your pointer finger?)
I don't really know what I used to talk about when I was on the phone for hours. It's funny, teenagers have nothing to say to their parents or teachers, but they can yammer on and on with their friends. But, I definitely did talk for hours - I guess because there was no other option. There was no TV in my room. There was no media at my fingertips.
I honestly feel that technology is a blessing and a curse - especially to teenagers. When I see toddlers using iPads and phones like experts, I realize that children today don't know anything else. This is their life now. They don't understand having to look something up in a library - you know, in a card catalog. They don't have to take a bus or wait for someone to give them a ride and make sure the library is open. They just have information right there.
They don't have to write each other letters or pass notes in class. They hit a few keys and they are done. They don't have to figure out words to express their emotions because they have emojis. They can decide if they want to take a call or even video chat with someone and won't ever know the complete anonymity of not having caller ID. And I'm sure most of them wouldn't even know what a busy signal sounds like.
It's bad enough that so many of our younger generation don't know how to write a letter or a thank you note or how to address an adult or what to say in a job interview. But, when they don't even know how to have an actual conversation? What is going on here?
So, how do kids communicate? How do they know what someone is feeling if they can't hear the sound of their voice? Admittedly, I think I come off better on paper than I do in person but sometimes it's hard to truly convey your intentions in an e-mail or a text. Do people really know what you are thinking and feeling or is it up to them to try and figure it out based on what they think you mean from your text message? Do you ever get a text from someone and can't tell if they are happy or angry or sarcastic or funny? I can't image what it's like to be a teenager and try to figure that out.
I guess it is our job as parents to teach our children how to talk to people. How to look up from a screen and look someone in the eye and actually talk to them. We shouldn't live in a world where families go out to dinner and sit at the table on their phones. We shouldn't have text conversations with a person in the same room. Granted, I would much rather text or e-mail than pick up a phone - probably because I'm lazy and anti-social - but not because I don't know how to have a conversation.
If we all work together, someday we may live in a world where people smile and speak to each other in public. I'd love to know what you think of that - but don't call to tell me. Send me a text.
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