Back to school

Is it possible to look forward to something, yet dread it, at the same time? School starts the day after tomorrow and as much as I've been waiting for the big day to arrive, I'm also wishing it was further away. I want Caty back in school just to give her something to occupy her time. She gets bored fairly quickly and school is a remedy for that. But, I love being with her. I love chillin' with her in the morning. I love the way she asks me a million questions. I love that she's still young enough to want to sit next to me and snuggle. But, I don't love the way she fights with her sister. And I don't love the attitude she gives me, so I am relieved that the dose of reality she'll get from school will minimize those issues. So, today and tomorrow are her last days of freedom. Sabrina doesn't start school until the 18th, and it's only pre-school so it's a few hours, three days a week. As much as I will relish that free time to do work and/or chores, it always leaves a void. It's strange that you can feel this physical loss when your kids are absent. I asked Caty if I could make a big poster that says Welcome Home and hold it up when her bus gets home on Wednesday. Her jaw dropped to the floor. I told her maybe I could rush onto the bus carrying balloons and singing about how glad I am to have her home. I thought she would faint. Maybe I should do it anyway, because deep down (way, way deep down) I know there is a little girl who is happy to have her goofy mom love her that much!