Random Thoughts

I just realized that I am in my pajamas and ready for bed. It's 8:30 on a Friday night. What happened to life? A clean house means your kids are bored. There is no way you can entertain kids and let them play and BE kids if you're constantly cleaning up after them. Unless you can hire a cleaning person, wait until they leave for college. It'll be clean then. If you had a dime for every time your child did something they promised they would do just so that they would get something they wanted by making said promise? You'd have an empty coin purse.

Wax?

Does your child listen to you? I mean, really listen? I'm convinced that my kids have conveyor belts inside their heads that stretch from one ear to the other. My words go in, get carried to the other side, and fall out. That or there is so much wax built up inside their ears that my words just bounce off the wax and fall to the floor. That's got to be it! I mean, they wouldn't actually listen to what I had to say and then purposely disobey me. That would be crazy, right? Their big, brown eyes look at me sometimes and I think they're understanding me. Maybe they're just staring at my eyebrows and everything I say sounds like "blah blah blah blah." I know it isn't just my kids either. I've seen this happen with others. There's something going on here and, as parents, we must get to the bottom of it!

Work

I need to make time to blog. Lately, I have lots to say, but no energy or time to say it! The past two weeks, I've been babysitting two girls, so now I have four girls ranging in age from 3 1/2 to 8 1/2 and I am just exhausted! Just can't explain how tired I am on Friday night. It made me think of something stupid I once said before I had kids. It was a comment to an old friend whose kids are now in their teens. I said something idiotic about never being able to quit my job. I said it must be so boring staying at home all day with nothing to do but hang out with your kids. Now, wait, don't get mad at me! Wipe off the coffee you just spit all over the screen. I said I made that stupid comment before I had a child. But, now, everytime I see one of those articles that pit working moms against SAHMs, I just laugh and ignore it. Because I know the truth. I know both sides of the fence. When my husband says something really stupid like "I'm tired because I work all week. What do you do?" or "I would love to be a stay-at-home dad," I just have to smile and walk away. Because smacking him upside the head is useless. It won't knock the common sense in there. He doesn't understand that spending time with your kids involves a lot more than turning on the television. Even if they're allowed to watch Tom and Jerry or something else that mommy doesn't usually let them see, pretty soon, kids will get bored. Sure, they will let you bring them to McDonalds every day for lunch, but the bowel movements are your reward, buddy. You don't need to take over my job - just stop making it harder for me. I don't need an oversized child!

Guess What????

Only 48 more days until school starts!

Exhausted

I know being famous has lots of perks. Right now, I think the biggest one is a star's ability to check into a hospital to be treated for exhaustion. Can I do that? Would I be laughed out of the ER? I'm not laughing. I'm tired. I can't explain just how tired. My bones are weary. I'm worn out! Last week, I started babysitting a little girl (who doesn't really get along with my 7-year-old) and this week, her older sister is here too. That's four kids between the ages of 3 and 8. They wear me out! Talk about energy. They don't stop. And when they're not moving, they're talking. Yap, yap, yap. Look at this. Look at me. Can I tell you something? Guess what? They never stop. I look at them and wonder how they don't just fall down. If I sit down for more than 2 minutes, my eyes start to close. Literally. I don't want to stay awake! So, I've got to find out how to get treatment for this exhaustion. What happens when you go to the hospital for it? What do they do, give you a Dr. Pepper and tell you to wake up and deal with it? Maybe that's what I need. I don't drink coffee, so maybe I just need to start mainlining Pepsi!

Alex's Lemonade Stand

I cannot imagine what it must be like to deal with this - as a child or as a mom. I hope you can come and support this cause!

My mom's group, BabyMine Playgroup, is hosting a stand on Saturday, July 25 from 10:30 to 3:30 at Stop and Shop, Route 9, Poughkeepsie. If you can stop by and buy a cup, great. If you'd like to support the cause, go online and check it out. Every little bit helps!

Wisdom

If worse comes to worst, we're all in big trouble.

Too many chicks

That's what I have in my house. Too many chicks. What is it about girls? Why do they have to fight all the damn time? I hear it all the time - "Oh, you're so lucky you have girls." Really? Why am I so lucky? Because boys fight all the time? They wrestle and run around and jump and yell and act crazy? Guess what - girls do it too. And they do it worse because they do it with little attitudes. So, in addition to me and the 7-year-old chick and the almost four-year-old chick, I have gone off the deep end and agreed to babysit a 5 1/2-year-old chick for the rest of the summer. Am I insane, you ask? Must be. Today was day two. Yesterday, my kids were so excited and hyper, they wanted to show poor Girl* every toy they've ever owned. "Come in my roomDoyouwanttopaintorcolororcutupsnowflakesorhaveasnack? Mom, make us a snack. DoyouwannawatchTV?Mom, where's the remote? What's your favorite show? Wanna watch Tom and Jerry?" Okay, so my head is spinning and it was only 7:30 in the morning! Today, we went to the children's museum and I guess Girl was a little tired or overwhelmed since it was her first visit and she just wanted to be left alone. Well, that doesn't sit well with Caty. When she wants you to do something, you need to do it. So, she started whining that Girl was being mean. That meant her little sister was going to stick up for Caty and yell at Girl. Then Caty would put her feet on Girl's seat. Then she would cry "Mom, Girl just flicked me." Of course she flicked you. Get your feet off her seat! Let's just say the ride home was not fun. Then they got home and cooled off in the pool. By then, Caty and Girl were best friends again and Sabrina was the outcast so she went in the house crying. I don't think you can win when there are three girls involved. Odd numbers just don't work. They can't. It's inevitable that two of the three will gang up on or gossip about the third girl. Hmm. What to do. Well, Girl does have an older sister, so maybe I could babysit her too? What? If I can do three, four will be a breeze! *Note: I know Girl isn't a very nice name, but I'm protecting this poor kid's identity!

Nature girls

What is it with kids and nature? One minute, they're fascinated by bugs and worms and every other type of creature and the next minute, they're either too afraid to go near them or they're killing them. Yesterday, I thought Sabrina was going to cry all day when I picked her up from camp. Apparently, she was building a worm house for the worms she found and one of the other girls squashed the worm. I didn't even get her backpack on when she yelled out, "Mom, Angel is a worm killer!" I didn't know what to say so I just told her "Well, we've all got to be something." Really, I'm not into animal cruelty, but the death of the worm is not high on my list of crimes against nature. Yes, I do know how important worms are to the earth. I also know how important they are to fishermen! But, my kids sometimes take it too far. One day, they started a slug collection. Freakin' slugs. Now, that is gross. I can't imagine anything more disgusting than a slug. Well, maybe a leech, but when's the last time you saw one of them? I mean, what function do slugs serve? Man up and get a shell, would you? Then, you'd at least be a snail and no one would think that badly of you. What's worse than being called a slug? Ick. Caty has saved the snakeskin she found in our yard and the wren's egg that didn't make it into becoming an actual wren. I'm telling you, it's Wild Kingdom at my house. Today, it was a snake. I saw it first. I was outside doing some yard work and I saw it near the front hose spigot, so I called the girls outside to see it. My mother says "Oh, it's a viper!" (If you knew my mom, this would not surprise you.) Sabrina is viewing it from all angles. Caty looks at me and says "Pick it up." I refuse. She says "Why not? It's not poisonous. It's a garden snake." Oh, really, Jeff Corwin? Thanks for the lesson in wild reptiles. I'll keep my distance, thanks.

Swap

The other day, Caty and I were watching Wife Swap (another of her favorites in her addiction to reality TV) and one of the moms had to go live and work on a dairy farm. Problem was, this lady was used to lounging in bed while her husband cooked her breakfast. She sometimes stayed in bed until 3 - p.m. that is. The man would work all day and then he would come home and clean the house. He did everything while she went and got her nails done or sat out by the pool. Did I miss a meeting? Where do you sign up for this? My husband slept while I drove myself to the hospital for an emergency appendectomy. I think I need to find this chick and do Husband Swap!

Reality

Does it make me a bad mother if my daughter is addicted to reality television? She is in love with it! I think it started with American Idol. I thought she liked the singing, but that's not it. I think she likes when people are voted off! She's totally into America's Next Top Model and she digs shows like Wife Swap and Supernanny. Another favorite was "I'm a Celebrity - Get Me Out of Here." She was a big fan of Torrie and asked me 10 times a day if I had voted for Torrie. Last week, she actually forced me to sit through a program called "I Survived a Japanese Game Show." That had to be the worst thing I've ever seen on television. But, since it's reality TV, it's kind of hard to explain to my daughter that it isn't real. She doesn't always understand that. She thinks if I recognize someone on television, that I actually know them. My luck, she'll start watching one of those stupid MTV shows and want to meet Flava Flav or something crazy!

Guilt Trippin'

I'm sure lots of us have had that feeling that we're the world's worst parent, right? Today, I got a dose of it, big time. My mom and I brought Caty to the craft store, where she got a few items that were made for a dollhouse. She then asked me if I could bring back into the house a dollhouse that I had gotten for her and later put out in the garage. Well, um, oops. Yeah, that dollhouse? Um, yeah, I um gave that away. How awful am I? The face on that poor girl! I felt like the boy that stood her up on prom night! Of course, I can't buy her the dollhouse she wants - the thing is like 400 bucks! And the one I threw out was plastic and cheesy anyway, but no matter. I suck. I'm mean. I'm not a nice person. "Maybe Daddy or Grandpa can make me one?" was her question to my mother. "Well, I could try to do that," I told my firstborn. "No, I want Daddy or Grandpa to do it." I'm so horrible, she won't even let me replace the damn thing! Oh well, maybe she'll lost interest in it (yeah right).

I'm not dead yet

I made it. A whole week with no school, no camp, no VBS, lots of rain, and two kids at home. I am alive and so are they! Can you believe it? We survived! And don't anyone say something crazy like "the week isn't even over yet." Yes, it is. Saturday does not count. The week - Monday to Friday - is over. There was not one tantrum. No one has any serious injury, no permanent scars. We did it!