Mom Unglued

Sometimes I think that all the things I once found to be terribly important are really just terribly trivial. If you're raised to always work hard and try to please people, how do you stop doing that and focus more on yourself? And can you do things just for yourself without feeling selfish? These are questions I continue to ask myself as I try to raise well-rounded, thoughtful children. I want my girls to understand the importance of doing for others, but I don't want them to sacrifice their happiness and mental health in the meantime. I know a woman who is very good at knowing what she wants for herself and her family. And, whether they like it or not, they are going to do those things that make for a happy family. Another lady in my family just had a baby and, no matter how exhausted she was, welcomed visitors until all hours of the night. The former is steadfast in her wishes, regardless of their effect on others. The latter is more like me. You might not want to do it, but you do it because that's just what you do. I always put my kids first. And then the list goes on until I get to myself somewhere towards dead last. I hear people say that I have to be happy in order to make my family happy. But, those are usually the same people who will cut you out of their lives for being negative and dragging them down. Sure, it's not anyone else's job to make me happy. But, if you're not going to at least try to help get me there, could you not rub in the fact that your life is grand and mine is not? So, I guess that's why I feel so unglued so often. You feel like you're being pulled in so many different directions - even if you're the one doing the pulling. Now I must be on a mission. I must learn how to make me happy - but I can't swear I'll get my act together!