Beef

I don't have any problem raising tomboys. But, I do have a problem raising girls that have the manners of my husband. Seriously, I've got girls who now think it's funny to pass gas and then say "I just beefed." Really? This is sooo ladylike. I'm sure it's going to go over well with their future mothers-in-law! Or when they get invited to a black-tie alumni dinner at Stanford or when they're making their acceptance speech for the Nobel Prize. You're thinking that none of that will ever happen and you're right! You know why? Because they are learning their manners from a man who thinks it is okay to blow his nose in the shower! What am I going to do? I'm going to have to send my girls to a boarding school at Martha Stewart's Bedford estate just to rid them of the influence Caveman Chris has had on them. I have lost control over them! I can hear their lips smacking when they eat. I stand helpless as they pick wedgies in public. My little princesses are turning into frogs!