I wasted free time

Yesterday was a freebie and I wasted it. I feel bad about it because I know tons of moms would do anything to have the opportunity for some alone time. Chris took the girls down to Yonkers for the whole day. What could I have done? Read a book, soaked my feet, taken a bath - whatever. What did I do? I re-organized the linen closet and underneath the kitchen sink. I did research and wrote a couple of articles that are overdue. I watched reruns of America's Next Top Model (the ones with Jade, who everyone seems to hate!) I sat and made myself think about what I would like to do with all this free time. Problem was, I couldn't really think of anything! What is wrong with me??? I know right now you feel like smacking me upside the head! I'm sorry. I wish I could have donated this free time to a mom who would actually use it and enjoy it. Instead, I felt lost. What the heck are you supposed to do when your kids aren't around? I mean, my life is so consumed by being a mom that I don't know how to be anything else. I'm not the person I used to be. I used to have fun. I used to be fun. I used to laugh and be crazy. Oh, where did I go?