A new diet?

I need a doctor – preferably an MD, buy I’ll take a Ph. D. I need someone to put their name behind my new idea. Dr. Tarnower did the Scarsdale diet. Dr. Atkins did that whole South Beach thing. Now, I think the nation is ready for something new – the Dorito Diet. Seriously, if you can eat bacon all day long and lose weight, then why not Doritos? Who’s with me? I say eat ‘em for breakfast, lunch and dinner. They’ve got all sorts of flavors now so there will be plenty of variety. Wash it down with some soda. Midday snack? Chocolate! Totally balanced. Only downside is that you can’t let your kids see you eating. Anyone with me? I think we could make millions!