Fear not

Why is it that parenthood automatically instills fear? I mean, people are afraid of getting pregnant. Then they're afraid of problems while they're pregnant. You're afraid to go through labor. Then, forget about that whole idea of suddenly being responsible for the survival of a helpless human being! When we're younger, we're pretty much fearless, aren't we? We do the craziest things and take huge risks and rarely even notice we're doing anything dangerous. I don't remember being afraid of too many things when i was younger. I've gone bungee jumping and dove off a cliff. I've hung out in the projects and walked home at all hours through all types of neighborhoods. I had no problem going on scary rides or trying to defy gravity. So, what happened? Is it being a parent? Is it age? Today, I went on a field trip with Sabrina's nursery school. We took the train to Garrison and stopped off for a rest and a snack and then headed home. But, let me tell you, when I watched my child walk away from me on that train platform, I can't describe the feeling. It was like my legs went weak and my stomach dropped to the floor. It really freaked me out! I guess, when I was younger, I didn't understand things enough. Now, when I look at my kids, I know fear. It's not that I need to know God's plan for them, but I just wish I could be sure they would be safe. At the very least, I wish I could be sure that they will stay away from that darn yellow line at the edge of the train platform!