That time of the month

For those of you that know me, I can piss and moan with the best of 'em. Today is nothing new. It's rainy and yucky outside. I have five tons of laundry to put away, a bunch of dirty dishes, a fish tank that needs cleaning and a 1,200-word story that is due tomorrow. On top of all that - yep, you guessed it, I've got my period. So, I'm not complaining about all those things - they're just things that are bugging me today. But I got to thinking as I was standing in line with my feminine napkins (wow, that sounds so pretty) on the belt while the guy behind me is throwing his beer and pretzels and steak and other man food on there and I am wishing bad things on him. Bad things on all men! Really - I know it is an awesome responsibility that God has given us - the ability to bear children. I know it is a blessing. But every month, right around the second day of my cycle - which is never the same since I had kids - I tend to see the negative side of menstruation. It's not the only unpleasant experience we get to have either. Yes, we can have children. That also means internal exams and pap smears and sometimes forceps - ouch. When we have the children, our boobs leak and we can get mastitis - ouch, ick. Then we get older and at our annual fun visit to the stirrups at the OB/GYN office, we now get to make friends with the mammogram machine. Yay - booby squishing. See how I can get on a rant and go from having my period to booby squishing? It's incredible. So, I have a plan. Something that would make me feel better and I'm sure most of the women in the world would like it too. I think all men should be given at least one kidney stone. It doesn't have to be horrible - maybe size of a marble. But, he should have to pass it. Yes, I said it. He must pass it out in his urine. And it would only take one stone. Because then, after suffering that pain (minor in comparison to what women endure) men would finally get it. And then, instead of being pains and refusing to go to the store for tampons or saying stupid things like "Oh, it must be your time of the month," men would start to respect our suffering. When I was younger, I used to get the worst cramps and felt like dying whenever my period rolled around. My mom would always say something helpful like "You're not the only woman in the world who gets her period, you know!" So, I'm crying out for all the women in the world who do get their period. "Kidney stones for men!"